Can Anybody Here Me? (first write)

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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-09-06 07:43 PM

You nod and say "mmmhmm",
did you hear what I just said?
Do you ever pay attention?
Or do you lie to me instead?
You act like you're listening,
then shrink back and let me be,
and at the end of the day,
you leave me with questions about me.
Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody see me?
Does anybody even know my name?

Sugarpie313 married my poem! (that's my poem, not your poem! pooh!)

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

1 posted 2001-09-06 08:14 PM

this is a great poem, thanks for sharing

*Pixie*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

Angelwings
Member

since 1999-08-27

Posts 222
IL, USA

2 posted 2001-09-06 08:51 PM

This is great. It totally understand where you are coming from and this was a great way to express those feelings. Great emotion!
Keep writing.
Chez

If we're told we're bad, that's the only idea we'll ever have. Maybe if we are surrounded by beauty someday we will become what we see.

ANGELBABY
Junior Member

since 2001-09-01

Posts 25

3 posted 2001-09-06 09:58 PM

This is a great poem keep up the good work!!!

Delirious_Smurf
Member

since 2001-08-08

Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.

4 posted 2001-09-06 10:01 PM

I liked it alot!
It was cool...

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

5 posted 2001-09-07 01:11 AM

i liked this one a lot allysa.very well done here!

S
  I
   L
     L
    Y

   P
     E
        E
     P
   S

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

6 posted 2001-09-07 11:45 AM

Ooo a first write, eh?

It has emotion and it has questions which is always good. It reads like a plead and your ending seems like it should be whispered.

I like it. Simple and people can connect with it.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

7 posted 2001-09-08 02:18 AM

First write, aye? Cool. It shows how you developed...I liked it. It was straightforward. HeHe, The last line reminded me of the "cheers" theme song though. HeHe..Now I've got that "where everybody knows your name" song in my head....thanks alot.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-09-25 06:22 PM

enjoyed it a lot. thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

9 posted 2001-09-25 07:59 PM

your name is the same as mine HEHE(the end of yer poem you said "doesn anyone even know my name")
i liked this one, you have defintly grown in your writting though sis!

"I swear officer! It was PINK."

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