navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Dreams (last post for a while)
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Dreams (last post for a while) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2001-09-05 02:23 PM


Upon the moment I awaken,
Your image graces the forefront of my mind,
Your name lingers on my lips,
Your soft whisper echos.
For you see, I've dreamt of you again,
And that sparkle in your eyes remains,
Haunting me in conscious state.

.....~I don't know what to do.....~
.....~Living without a piece of myself.....~
.....~My days spent thinking of you.....~
.....~My nights tormented in memory.....~

Our songs bring about weepy sadness,
Somehow every flower hurts.
And while trying to survive each hour,
My heart just rips a little more.
And still each morning I awaken,
Traveling through a tedious day,
Wishing for sanity's long-awaited return;

.....~Longing to dream again.....~

"...and this is how you remind me, of what I really am..."

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-09-05 05:56 PM


Aww Jenn...I know how ya feel exactly! LOVED the poem, though I'm sad that it'll be my last to read of yours for awhile..Grrr... HeHe, Then again- That makes the long awaited next one EVEN BETTER! ANyway, like I said, awesome write!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
2 posted 2001-09-05 06:53 PM


A very nice post. This reminds me of the pain of breaking up, something I did just last night. Very nice poem. Hope to see you back soon
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
3 posted 2001-09-05 06:54 PM


great work... i know just where you are coming from in this piece
*Pixie*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-09-05 07:36 PM


sO much beauty in these words you wrote this poem in...with overwhelming sadness protrayed within...i REALLY liked it...but hope things are going better for you...
                      
and whats this about "last post for awhile".. ...if SO come back soon...k?...take care and ALWAYS smile!

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-09-05 07:40 PM


Thanks you guys. I always am thankful to hear your kind comments.   I'll post again soon enough. I'm sure you'll hardly miss me at all...     thanks again...

Jenn

"...and this is how you remind me, of what I really am..."

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
6 posted 2001-09-05 08:02 PM


In a way you should concider yourself lucky to find relief in the sanctity of your dreams, I no longer even have that option, I never remember even a feeling from a dream, leaving me out in the cold...  But anyway, I REALLY liket the poem!  I know how tedious days can get without your love at your side.  Hope to see more great work when u get back!

                                      Rich

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-09-09 11:00 AM


Aww wow jenn. So sad  

"And still each morning I awaken,
Traveling through a tedious day,
Wishing for sanity's long-awaited return;"
I found I could easily relate to those lines. I don't like to hear that you are leaving for a while but if you have things that must be sorted, your welfare comes before anyone elses.

Take care and I hope things look up for you soon. Keep smiling and don't ever forget my email addy.  

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-09-09 07:07 PM


Nicely done here. I really liked the poem jenn!!!!
Hope to see you post soon....c'mon now  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
9 posted 2001-09-10 03:44 AM


awwwwwwwwwwww *hugs*....this is so sad jenn..jenn be happy!!!!
"And while trying to survive each hour,
My heart just rips a little more."
really depressing. i hope youre doing ok chicka- come back to us little ones here soon!!

"Somehow I managed to single handedly betray myself" Javier Agosto

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
10 posted 2001-09-10 05:37 AM


.....~I don't know what to do.....~
.....~Living without a piece of myself.....~
.....~My days spent thinking of you.....~
.....~My nights tormented in memory.....~


i loved that part!!!!!! omg it was awesome! what do you mean last post for a while? girl don't make me tie you to a chair like all the rest!

Things I Have Learned I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-09-26 12:46 PM


Jenn, this is really beautifully said
Am I missing something here though?
Who is this for?
Well, I'll talk to you about it outside pip
Thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

holatuwol
Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72
California, USA
12 posted 2001-10-09 04:07 AM


*drags this poem back to page one and coughs repeatedly*  ^^  Actually, theoretically it's still on page one if you look at 200 posts at a time (since it was still on MY page one... hehehe), meaning that in the last half month or so there have been fewer than 200 new poems... ^^;  Just a little passing thought there... ignore me if you want. ^_^;

Out of the 100 some-odd poems that I read so far after raiding the Passions archives again after not visiting it for about two months, this one had the most peaceful echo (dreamlike, like the title!) and some of the most even flow.  The thoughts were combined in such a way that the reader seemed to get drawn into the dreamworld... I thought that there was a really nice choice of words in this poem.  Each word seemed to fit naturally without being forced at all.

Maybe it's because I'm in a sentimental mood or something, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this poem and all of the images and thoughts that were presented in it. ^_^  It somehow matched up better than all of the other love poems in this archive... *sweatdrops*  And there's definitely a lot of sentimental romantic longing poetry that I've read tonight... x_X;

You've written some since this post... *scrolls up through archive*  And others have discussed similar subjects.  But, this one seemed to appeal to me the most for reasons I'm not sure about. ^_^  It just had a lot of charm... soft romantic dreamlike charm. ^_^  And somehow, I actually seemed to be able to relate to it... though I have no idea why.

This was an excellent write, and I'm glad you could share it.  My favorite part was easily the way it ended... somehow that just seemed so fitting, even if maybe it's just that I'm in the mood that makes the poem read that way. ^^  Once again, thanks for writing and sharing, because reading this poem really made my day. ^_^  Until next time.


- holatuwol

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
13 posted 2001-10-09 08:20 AM


Holatuwol:Oh cool! Brought back to the first page, and replied to in an extremely interesting way. I appreciate your comments and compliments! It is wonderful that you thought so much of this poem...

Acire: Yes, well...we've talked outside pip, and all is well!!   Thanks for your comments and concern.

Poeticgirl: Thanks for your comment, glad you liked it!

Cherish: Sometimes you can't help being sad, ya know? But things are better, so no worries. I am back...(sorta) and I shall be here for you little ones  

Dopey: This is pointless you aren't even here, but, thank you for your reply.  

Lizzy: I'd never forget your e-mail girl! I want to thank you for being there for me all the time, k? It helps me out a lot to have you around to talk to. Thanks for the reply.  

Rich: Sometimes you may think you've found sanctity in your dreams, but it's just another way to hurt. Just some more time to dwell when you'd rather be over it, you know? Well, anyway, thanks for the reply.  


"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
14 posted 2001-10-09 01:18 PM


This is absolutely amazing Jenn, it's very sad but I was enthralled all the way through wondering where it would lead.  

Zu

"Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT"
- Replying might be your only hope of getting noticed -

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
15 posted 2001-10-09 05:45 PM


Thank you Zu; it means a lot to hear you say that.  

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
16 posted 2001-11-08 01:12 PM


great work here simply love it can't wait for you to write more maybe i will post that song i wrote for you on here after all?

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
17 posted 2001-11-09 07:39 PM


I have to put this in my library, it's just really extraordinary!!  Every single one of your poems that I've read has been so good, it makes me wish I could write like that! LOL   But I think this one may be my favorite from you so far.

For me, dreaming is sometimes like an escape.  I can live all the things I know will never happen in real life, and it's sorta like having a taste of what I know I'll never have.  At the end of a horrible day, I find myself looking forward to sleep so that I can at least be happy for a little while in my dreams.  But, at the same time, it can be so depressing.  When I want something to happen so badly and I dream that it does, I wake up wanting it even more, yet knowing that it's so far out my reach.  Ya know what I mean?  Sorry for rambling on, see this is what happens when I really love a poem, lol.  

Anyways, I hope that you have bad dreams.  Lol that sounds *horribly* mean, but it's not meant in a mean way.  I hope u have bad dreams so that u wake up and realize that reality is so much better.  Good luck, and sorry 4 rambling.

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
18 posted 2001-11-09 07:39 PM


I have to put this in my library, it's just really extraordinary!!  Every single one of your poems that I've read has been so good, it makes me wish I could write like that! LOL   But I think this one may be my favorite from you so far.

For me, dreaming is sometimes like an escape.  I can live all the things I know will never happen in real life, and it's sorta like having a taste of what I know I'll never have.  At the end of a horrible day, I find myself looking forward to sleep so that I can at least be happy for a little while in my dreams.  But, at the same time, it can be so depressing.  When I want something to happen so badly and I dream that it does, I wake up wanting it even more, yet knowing that it's so far out my reach.  Ya know what I mean?  Sorry for rambling on, see this is what happens when I really love a poem, lol.  

Anyways, I hope that you have bad dreams.  Lol that sounds *horribly* mean, but it's not meant in a mean way.  I hope u have bad dreams so that u wake up and realize that reality is so much better.  Good luck, and sorry 4 rambling.

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Dreams (last post for a while)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary