Teen Poetry #5 |
?any ideas on a name? |
SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
I dont know when i wrote this but is was in my book that i keep my poetry in!! I see you .... On rainy days With blue roses Scattered in your eyes I smell you .... At darkest nights With uncertain shadows Walking past your steps I understand you .... In unconscion dreams With shakin revelations Missing your grabs I like you .... In such inappropriate times With unbeleivable zeal Avoiding your notice I love you .... In such constant growth With unimaginable passion Renewed every passing day! !~Andrea~! |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrea L. Figueroa - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
how about "In You" or easy enough just "You" I like this very much, I like this style very nice by the way, I like your pic, you have a warm smile |
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SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
AWWWW sea thank you for the complment on my smile!! hmm and that was some good ideas on the name thank you once again!!! !~Andrea~! |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I liked this it was cool the way it flowed. But I didn't really think "grabs" fit in. You mean like... he reached for you...? It kinda confused me. Anyway nice job! Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
well, i cant think of a title cuz i just woke up but its a good poem Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls |
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Nathan James Nugent Junior Member
since 2001-08-31
Posts 10 |
dont worry about titling your poetry its best to leave the words as they are free from clinging |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i loved the format you used A, i liked the way it flowed in my head- NICE . about the title? im with sue on this one-"You" or "In You" seems perfect for it i love your pic too! it makes me smile back at you! ............Daffodils |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Yeah, I agree with Cherish's ideas on the title!Those would be fitting! ~ Alex |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
HeHeHe, I'm with Cherish, I smile back at you as well. ANYWAY! Nice poem, so sweet. Does your hubby have a brother? Goodness- This guy sounds too goo to be true...You just seem so happy. And you used "Zeal" HeHeHe, I used that in the "curse the Moon" poem of mine...Haha, it was a newly discovered word for me...*Sigh* Figures other people would know it. HAHAHA... I'm so lame. Anyway! Loved the write! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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