I almost loved you (i fixed this poem)

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Teen Poetry #5

I almost loved you (i fixed this poem)

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

0 posted 2001-08-29 05:46 PM

I fixed this poem .. is this any better!?

_________________________________________
I almost loved you

I want to write about the way
         night time revolved around you,
in moon-darkened silence and,
          how the stars splashed across
your facein silver shadows.

I want to write about the way
          your whispersspilled from your
lips like wineand how your skinheld
         so many delicious secrets.

I want to write about the way you
         breathed my name as if it were a
song,and the way your laughter
         bounced off the skies.

I want to write about the way your
          tears fell like broken diamonds
and how your breath gave me life.

I want to write about YOU
         of your beauty and how
it transcends me and I want to write
         about the way I almost loved you...

___________________________

!~Andrea~!
*You only live once, so live it to the
fullest*
*what is love?*

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

1 posted 2001-08-29 05:55 PM

omigawd
i loved it
i didnt get to read the first however
but i love this one
im puttin it in my library and i sent it to the person i almost loved!

"I have no never-again, I have no always"
Pablo Neruda

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

2 posted 2001-08-29 06:29 PM

Awsome .. thank you so much!!!

*MUAH*

!~Andrea~!
*You only live once, so live it to the
fullest*
*what is love?*

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

3 posted 2001-08-30 12:47 PM

I can't tell you if this is better b/c i didn't read the 1st version, but I'll tell u that it can't get any better than THIS. I seriously love your writing, you have SUCH an amazing gift to voice your thoughts and feelings. Don't lose that.
G2g - school tomorrow

~K~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-08-30 01:53 AM

Andrea~ this is one I wish I wrote

wow, I really like not only what you said but how you said it, this is a keeper for my library

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

5 posted 2001-08-30 03:51 AM

Loved this... so sweet and such a nice tribute!!

This is the type of thing i wish a guy would think of me (not sayng you're a guy but ya'know)

anyway great post!!

ALLIE

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