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Teen Poetry #5
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I'll love you... Even if you don't smile
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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I'll love you... Even if you don't smile |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia 
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I usually never post two poems in a row. Today's an exception. Enjoy. I'll love you... Even if you don't Smile You may like it in your perfect glass world, where trees are perfect triangles, the grass perfectly green, and the sky perfectly blue... Where people sip lemonade at the pool, and everyone has perfect tans, and perfect hair, and every flawed inch of existence is painted over with wishful thinking. But I'd rather be here... Where the sun isn't always out, and people don't always smile. I can sit in my chair, watching vines unfurl with time, waiting for my tea to cool, and gazing outside into that other place where people sit in ice cream shops, and giggle. But I suppose it's a one-way window, and maybe you'll never get to observe the radiance of imperfection... For this I am sorry-- Some of the most beautiful things are chipped on the edges.  Bye bye.--Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This may actually be one of my favorites from you. You have written some extremely amazing peices, but the meaning of this one is just so great. Keep writing, b/c you are great at it! |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Marie- This is a beautiful piece. I love the title.  The way you incorporate everyday actions into your poetry makes it easy for me (personally) to relate, and made me more aware of my surroundings. "Some of the most beautiful things are chipped on the edges." Such truth in your words. Those were my favorite lines, full of perception and wisdom. I found the entire poem full of innocence, symbolism, and truth. You continue to be a wonderful poet full of aspiring ideas and thoughts. Again, I thank you for an awesome piece, and for sharing your talent with the rest of the pip-world.  °L.§.W.° Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
maybe you'll never get to observe the radiance of imperfection... WOWOWOWOW......i love this!!...even if i dont smile!...i can relate to this soooo much its uncanny!...this is awesome marie..i loved it lots..you did very very well with this like leah said you incorporate everyday life and actions into your poems very well and this one is certainly no exception. AGPFAGP!!! Daffodils |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
*clickkity clack* Daffodils |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
*speechless* Honey, I can't rip your poems apart if you're going to keep posting these AMAZING pieces or work! I really loved this. And I totally agree, we need the bad and the imperfet to humble us and help us appreciate the good. This is definitely going in my library! ~Kay We need guidance, we've been misled |
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Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
jeez what to say that hasnt been said bout it hmm.....*drop jawed* that should do it =o) Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
and every flawed inch of existence is painted over with wishful thinking. I must admit all my compliments have been taken! LOL... but another fabulous post.. of course, loved the comparissons... Amazing as Always... ALLIE |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
"and every flawed inch of existence is painted over with wishful thinking" How freakin' true. You think something is perfect but only because of wishful thinking. Nothing is as it seems...stupid existence.  Now this piece I liked much more than the other one I just read. You go into more the ideas of varying perfection. You and Leah both wrote excellent poems on perfection though hers was more to do with imperfection than anything else. I like yours for the fact that you go through the typical idealisms like perfect tans, the sky being a perfect colour etc yet still keep the dark element playing whilst you go into your own version of life. Your imperfections are what life is. Not everyone, in fact hardly anyone, has a perfect life. The way you described your life or what you see wasn't imperfect at all but what I would think of as bliss. Nothing is set in concrete and nothing looks like it belongs in that movie, 'Pleasentville'.  Your ending is brilliant. A simple ending but you can read into it so far. Beauty is only skin deep but to find something beautiful after it has been chipped truly displays how magical it was to begin with. Certain aspects of life are beautiful. Like a sale in Garfunkle or Veronica Lodge. That is beautiful. Actually, that's heaven...hehe.. I really liked reading into this one. So much that it is going to go into my library. Lately I did a big sweep and your poetry still remains. That just proves how talented you really are. Keep writing these amazing pieces and keep on sharing them. ~AF~ I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot* |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Wow. I really liked this a lot. It was so... what's the word where something is just really wonderful??? Well, I guess that will do for now. Perfection doesn't exist, and to believe you are perfect is a flaw in itself.Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 08-30-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Cherish took my fav. lines, AGAIN!  HeHeHe. I LOVED the ending as well. This whole poem was incredible, simply incredibly. Let me join Sheirhs in the "clickity clack" of my library box. You are on hell of a writer, Marie. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"Some of the most beautiful things are chipped on the edges." So true!!such a amazing piece of writing...the piece throughout to me showed the longing for the nature that the other holds the "happiness" so to speak...and the one speaking within the piece is imperfect...such as "unhappy" which to me the true human nature of being human is to be happy, somewhat...HeHe..i dont know...did i get it?...well, anyways...LOVED the read...enjoyed, as always...buh bye if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Fading~ Sometimes I read poems and I don't reply. I simply let them float around inside my head. But this one I felt I had to tell you is a wonderful piece of work! I have read your other work, sometimes not replying. But this is by far my fav. piece. The lines the examples you use are great! And the ending. The ending for me was phenomenal. Maybe some people don't look at poetry the way I do. A way to really make you think about life. But yours it was unreal. I love the ending! Chez If we're told we're bad, that's the only idea we'll ever have. Maybe if we are surrounded by beauty someday we will become what we see. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is a great poem.....it touched me in a way I'm uncertain about!!! Bridgette |
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