navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Leaving me
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Leaving me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia

0 posted 2001-08-28 08:05 AM



Flashing lights,
and unsatisfying words.
Worked loud music,
Jagged-edged-romance.

Slipery colours,
Fragments of a scene.
Busy violet floor,
Dances without feet.

Textured fabrics,
ripping in my heart.
Distorted sounds...
Your feet against my floor

You're leaving me again...

© Copyright 2001 Alex - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2001-08-28 08:28 AM


awwwww sad poem. it was good tho.
robin

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
2 posted 2001-08-28 10:29 AM


This IS quite sad. Kinda trippy tho...lol   Other than minor spelling errors, this was really well done. Great visuals!  

Jenn

"Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-08-28 01:29 PM


Oh gee, this was pretty sad. I hope things do get better for you.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

SunShine913
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211
Italy but from NC
4 posted 2001-08-28 02:41 PM


I agree with dopey_dope!!! but good read!

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice


Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-09-02 12:52 PM


Awesome write here, Allie. The imagery was incredible. Hope all is well.  

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-09-07 03:17 PM


Oh how sad. Allie if you ever need to talk to me, you know you can always email me.

Take care and thanks for sharing.  

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Leaving me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary