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Passions in Poetry

Stalactites

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Delirious_Smurf
Member
since 08-08-2001
Posts 431
Nothingness,P.R.


0 posted 08-27-2001 01:52 PM       View Profile for Delirious_Smurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Delirious_Smurf

Stalactites:

I'll go along when time allows
To lay alone inside my mind
Silver mirrors,opiate sounds
Reflect the warmth that hides inside
Close the shades
let no one see
they tore my soul.
but I'm still me
And not for long
in fright I'll stay,
I'll sing along
as babies pray
The thought of thoughts
the taste of gin
I'll rise above.
(edited my admin) eating grin
I'll lay alone inside my head
to shun their glares
and block the stares
And when time alows
I'll live no more with
the shattered dreams
and lonely  thoughts.


It's not that good really but it's heartfelt!




Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

[This message has been edited by Heavens Tears (edited 08-28-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Laura - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Member Elite
since 04-13-2001
Posts 4474
Resting in my cardboard box.


1 posted 08-27-2001 08:52 PM       View Profile for Spice   Email Spice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Spice's Home Page   View IP for Spice

It's about bloody time! I've been WAITING for another post from you, Laura!   hehehe
"Close the shades
let no one see
they tore my soul.
but I'm still me"
Loved those lines. Hell, Loved the whole write. *Pops you* No good? *Unpops you* Oh I see...Fishing for compliments? I taught you so well. LOL.  
Seriously though Laura, very heartfelt indeed. Very awesome. I loved it. More, MORE!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Poet Unknown
Member
since 08-14-2001
Posts 271
Missouri


2 posted 08-27-2001 09:36 PM       View Profile for Poet Unknown   Email Poet Unknown   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet Unknown

i liked this one, it was truly heartfelt

Only darkness falls on those without souls

Delirious_Smurf
Member
since 08-08-2001
Posts 431
Nothingness,P.R.


3 posted 08-27-2001 10:05 PM       View Profile for Delirious_Smurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delirious_Smurf

Fishin fer compliments?? Whatever do you mean Jesa??  

Hahah nah but really I didn't think it was a GOOD poem but it was heartfelt
Thanks fer reading all  

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

cherish
Member Ascendant
since 03-25-2001
Posts 6045
swimming in fairy floss.......


4 posted 08-27-2001 10:44 PM       View Profile for cherish   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherish

                               And when time alows
                               I'll live no more with
                               the shattered dreams
                               and lonely  thoughts.


Heartfelt AND GOOD!!!!...this is the first ve read from you laura and i have to say that this one is really good...i could relate to it in a weird way  ...very well done! thanks for sharing!

Piece you life together and you WILL find holes.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


5 posted 08-28-2001 01:32 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Laura, this poem was awesome, but I the whole poem is based upon a ryhme scheme and then it's broken in the end. I mean the ending did rock but the flow kind of cuts off due to that break and it confused me for a bit. I really did enjoy this poem. Good job!  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Crash&Burn
Member
since 01-18-2001
Posts 221


6 posted 08-28-2001 05:59 PM       View Profile for Crash&Burn   Email Crash&Burn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Crash&Burn

definitly heartfelt. I really liked it smurf, it's very powerful and I really liked the rhyme. Nicely done, and yet another great post.

I see the darkness coming all is bleak...

Delirious_Smurf
Member
since 08-08-2001
Posts 431
Nothingness,P.R.


7 posted 08-28-2001 09:35 PM       View Profile for Delirious_Smurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delirious_Smurf

Thanks all =P
and yeah I know Dopes...But I suck at that...I know nothing bout schemes and how it's supposed to go.  

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


8 posted 09-25-2001 07:58 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

"And when time alows
I'll live no more with
the shattered dreams
and lonely  thoughts."

These lines just stuck on me
I'm very impressed Smurfy
I hope to see more in the future
by the way, I really love those lines
thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 05-30-2001
Posts 1279
IM ENGAGED!!!!!


9 posted 09-25-2001 08:02 PM       View Profile for Alyssa   Email Alyssa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alyssa

im in a bad mood its not fair...ill reread this poem again some time ok?

"I swear officer! It was PINK."

anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


10 posted 09-27-2001 01:10 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Laura! Remind me to go and look at your other posts a little later on.  
This is really good. I liked the way you delved deep into the aspects of you that is making you unhappy.
You've got some great lines in here. I can't wait to see more from you.  

~AF~

"Reality is only a feeble rendering of the energy brought forth by the imagination"

Delirious_Smurf
Member
since 08-08-2001
Posts 431
Nothingness,P.R.


11 posted 09-27-2001 10:53 PM       View Profile for Delirious_Smurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delirious_Smurf


Thankies all!!!

I'm a professional happy puppet.

Kaos
Member
since 08-02-2001
Posts 320
between space and time


12 posted 05-12-2005 02:03 PM       View Profile for Kaos   Email Kaos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaos

i liked some of the imagery in this piece it had an interesting way of portraying some of the emotions and such. very meaningful Good job

"I go to parties sometimes until 4, it's hard to leave when you can't find the door..." Joe Walsh

   (I Ride The Short Bus)

 
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