navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Nothing
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Nothing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-08-22 05:36 PM


“Nothing”

I have no love
I have no life
No emotion
Died so long ago
Only a body
An empty shell
I long to feel
But these things
Are nearly dead as well
A little longer
Nothing shall remain
And I will be
Nothing as well


© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-08-22 07:48 PM


Hmm...Interesting.
Very Dark. I liked that about it.
Hope to see more...soon. Very soon.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
2 posted 2001-08-22 08:03 PM


"Only a body
An empty shell"

A shell, you say...interesting thought. Shells are shed though...for something better. This body...and empty shell...does that mean you found something better? I think I'm thinking too much........

"I long to feel
But these things
Are nearly dead as well"

Dead minds, dead souls...quite sad.

"A little longer
Nothing shall remain
And I will be
Nothing as well"

Nothing...Scary thought it seems.
I felt that this poem lacked a little feeling, not that you wrote this with no feeling...Then again, perhaps I'm supposed to feel nothing, eh?
I found this a little short...maybe you can go indepth a bit more? Just a suggestion.
This wasn't your best piece, but I did enjoy the read! Pleasantly dark. Thanks!

-£êåh

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
3 posted 2001-08-22 10:00 PM


Your poem is very deep and full of emotion I can relate to it.I loved it keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Nothing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary