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Teen Poetry #5
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sorrowfulangel
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 59
Memphis,TN

0 posted 2001-08-21 04:12 AM


an aching within my soul
never seems to stop it's endless torture
please allow these words their due
and let me justify my enchantment.
a velvety whisper, famailar to your ear
does it hold some captivation?
my secret is not compelling
but is something i have not bestowed to you
please do not interupt
i have yet to begin...

have i ever shared with you
the experience of having you near
a heat so intense,my very being is seared.
the ebony depth of your eyes craddles me
within a feathery embrace of affection
something i can never bare to depart from.
breathing seems insignifigant
when i feel your caress
my soft skin impacted for enternity.
now do you understand my modest confession?

these tenderly whispered words
are they convicing you of feelings
i long for you to understand.
i must continue with this story
for my bravery did not come easily
as many times as this scene has been reherced.
but my soul will no longer be tormented
for i have found words to express what you envoke..
i love you

"god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways"

© Copyright 2001 Chelsie - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-08-21 06:17 PM


Wow!   I really really really liked this bunches upon bunches! "breathing seems insignifigant" -Doesn't it though? You did SUCH a wonderful job on this piece...I'm so impressed! I don't believe I've read a write from you...so ya- I'll have to be on the look out for more posts from you. Hope I won't have to wait long. I loved the last stanza of this too. Very well done!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 08-21-2001).]

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-08-21 06:37 PM


First of all... I want to express how impressed I am.  I haven't seen you around here much, but after reading this poem, I hope you post again soon!

"my secret is not compelling
but is something i have not bestowed to you
please do not interupt
i have yet to begin..."

That was one of my favorite parts.  I like how you ask to please be quiet... don't say anything... I haven't said what i want to yet.. I liked that a lot.

"the ebony depth of your eyes craddles me
within a feathery embrace of affection
something i can never bare to depart from.
breathing seems insignifigant
when i feel your caress"

Wow.. that brings back such passionate memories... I once felt that.  I miss it so much.  I can't for the day to come back when I know that feeling again.. you described it perfectly.

"but my soul will no longer be tormented
for i have found words to express what you envoke..
i love you"

A perfect ending... those were the parts that really stuck out for me.  Beautiful post.. I cannot WAIT until your next... so keep sharing all your work with us.  

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
3 posted 2001-08-21 07:48 PM


....wow....
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
4 posted 2001-08-22 04:20 AM


Your poem is very powerful is left me speechless.Keep up the fantastic work!
   Lauren

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