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Passions in Poetry

If Only She Knew........

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HopelessRomanticGuy
Senior Member
since 08-17-2001
Posts 515
LI, New York


0 posted 08-19-2001 06:30 PM       View Profile for HopelessRomanticGuy   Email HopelessRomanticGuy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for HopelessRomanticGuy

This is one of the first poems I ever wrote.  It may not be that good, but It does express the thoughts I had at that moment.  It's a glimps into the cavernous pit which is my mind and the open wound that was my heart....
************************

If only she knew,
what he put himself through.
If only she had heard his lips,
as they uttered those words and mouthed a kiss.

If only she could see,
the love that they could be.
If only she could feel,
his love which is so real.

In his soul he is barely braving the storm,
he needs a companion to keep him warm.
A guide some would say to light the way,
to lead him to yet another day.

If only she could see,
the love that they could be.
If only she could feel,
his love which is so real.

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

© Copyright 2001 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved
cutie2005
Member
since 04-30-2000
Posts 150
Bennett, Colorado USA


1 posted 08-19-2001 07:42 PM       View Profile for cutie2005   Email cutie2005   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cutie2005

This was a very good poem!!! I really like how you express yourself in it, it's great!!!!  Thankyou for sharing it, I liked the read!
    Always,
     Amanda

If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!


AngelPoet87
Member
since 04-21-2001
Posts 418
Indy


2 posted 08-19-2001 09:45 PM       View Profile for AngelPoet87   Email AngelPoet87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AngelPoet87

This is a great write, especially considering it was one of the first you ever wrote. Thanks for the read!

~Ali~

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel.

punkrockerrobin
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Member Elite
since 05-15-2001
Posts 2253
Sparks, NV


3 posted 08-19-2001 09:54 PM       View Profile for punkrockerrobin   Email punkrockerrobin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit punkrockerrobin's Home Page   View IP for punkrockerrobin

i like it a lot! dude this is such a rad poem.
robin
ps.sorry i'm not much of a talker but sometimes i am.

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Spice
Member Elite
since 04-13-2001
Posts 4474
Resting in my cardboard box.


4 posted 08-19-2001 10:00 PM       View Profile for Spice   Email Spice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Spice's Home Page   View IP for Spice

Pretty damn good for a first-ever poem. I liked the reptition of that one stanza. Nice read here. Showed your thoughts well.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

fozzyozzy
Member
since 03-15-2001
Posts 348
Lessburg Virginia


5 posted 08-19-2001 10:09 PM       View Profile for fozzyozzy   Email fozzyozzy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit fozzyozzy's Home Page   View IP for fozzyozzy

I wonder how long ago you wrote this? Pretty good.  Did you ever give this to anybody? Sometimes, it can be effective. Good job by the way

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 08-02-2000
Posts 860
California


6 posted 08-20-2001 03:24 AM       View Profile for TopGunLauren   Email TopGunLauren   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TopGunLauren's Home Page   View IP for TopGunLauren

Your poem is very good and I really enjoyed it.
  Lauren
HopelessRomanticGuy
Senior Member
since 08-17-2001
Posts 515
LI, New York


7 posted 08-20-2001 12:30 PM       View Profile for HopelessRomanticGuy   Email HopelessRomanticGuy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HopelessRomanticGuy

Awwww, Guys.  You know, it this keeps up I might actualy start thinking I can write.  Who knows, I may be on to something......
Nope, I didn't give it to anyone, I should have, but I wrote a dopey love letter instead, don't ask.  That advice, fozzyozzy, came a little to late.

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 03-15-2001
Posts 832


8 posted 08-20-2001 03:16 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

This was a wonderfully sweet poem.  I loved the language and the emotion that poured from this.  Great job!!

*If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.*

Allysa
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Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


9 posted 08-20-2001 03:20 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

That was way awesome!
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


10 posted 08-20-2001 09:44 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

"If only she could see,
the love that they could be.
If only she could feel,
his love which is so real."


I'm a "if only" kind of girl myself, so I realate to this soooooo much. great poem  
cherish
Member Ascendant
since 03-25-2001
Posts 6045
swimming in fairy floss.......


11 posted 08-20-2001 09:47 PM       View Profile for cherish   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherish

*sighs*.....aw man this is really cute!..i liked it ..your first poem usually holds a special place in your heart and you certainly did very well with this one! thanks for giving us a peek!

"Kiss my Starfish!
My chocolate Starfish punk!"
-'Hot dog'
Limp Bizket

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


12 posted 08-21-2001 05:43 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

"If only she could see,
the love that they could be.
If only she could feel,
his love which is so real."
I liked that stanza.  The repitition you used in this piece was well done, I thought.  Nicely done... VERY good for a first poem.  Impressive.. Oh, and you ARE on to something.. You're a talented writer!     Well done.  I enjoyed this one.

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 05-15-2001
Posts 2253
Sparks, NV


13 posted 08-21-2001 05:51 PM       View Profile for punkrockerrobin   Email punkrockerrobin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit punkrockerrobin's Home Page   View IP for punkrockerrobin

has anybody told you that you're kool!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


14 posted 08-26-2001 02:47 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

This was simply awesome. I really felt the power in this poem. Very great job, one of my favs today. Keep sharing with us and i'll keep reading.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

SunShine913
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 08-19-2001
Posts 353
Italy but from NC


15 posted 08-26-2001 09:48 PM       View Profile for SunShine913   Email SunShine913   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SunShine913's Home Page   View IP for SunShine913

I loved this i really did ..very good work and love to read your work!!! in my libary it goes!!!

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 12-01-2002
Posts 1044
...Coming to


16 posted 12-04-2002 07:07 PM       View Profile for WinterWren   Email WinterWren   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WinterWren's Home Page   View IP for WinterWren

*bows* again.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

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