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The Lone Man
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Lone Man |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
To the breeze The whisper of the breeze In the night. Or is the breeze We hear tonight The sound of mockery From the wind? It is snowing, See it fall Gracefully, yet chilling To the icy, frigid ground. The cold Biting at your face Compares to nothing Like that of the ice in your heart. The heart of a forlorn beast Whose soul was forever lost In the dead, ebony twilight Of the world. The moon has not yet Left the sky To break into early morn. But the dreary cry of an owl Near by Echoes in the breeze. One man Wanders aimlessly Along the coast of Paradise Forever lost and removed From the world below. Gray is his hair His eyes His passion To live. Eyes did not see him, But his presence was felt. Ears did not hear him, But his cry was piercing. Lips did not speak of him, But he did exist. Gone is his pain His suffering His neglect from these individuals Gone are the shadows of isolation. Now he is free Free from his cage To fly with the angels above Rather than with the owls of the night. And may the twilight reflect This lone man's soul... Forever. ===== A very old piece...wrote it in grade 8. I never knew i could write like that. I revised it a bit at the end. Anywho, enjoy while I try think of something to write... -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-18-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
8th grade huh? I can't remember what I was even doing back then. My 8th grade standards though, i think it far surpasses what i would expect from someone in junior high. I liked it obviously "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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Wood_Stock Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 58The little yellow |
Wow, sounds like a trent reznor song! Generally I don't really like long stuff, but I enjoyed this to the finish. And 8th grade, well I extend my hand to you... great work. Wood_Stock. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
 8th grade??? This is AWESOME for an 8th grader! Wow.. the description throughout this piece is amazing. The beginning.. talking about th breeze.. or is it just the wind mocking you.. I loved that. The imagery while talking about the stars, and such was awesome. You never cease to amaze me, Leah... every piece is a new experience."Eyes did not see him, But his presence was felt. Ears did not hear him, But his cry was piercing. Lips did not speak of him, But he did exist." I LOVED that stanza. It really hit me hard, I could feel exactly what you were saying. Instantaneous connection. Awesome work. You are an amazing poet, Leah. One of my favs in the forum. NEVER stop posting your work.  --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
You have an old soul...it will stand you well in your pursuit of writing... well done...very well done! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
8th grade? Shall I hurt you now or would you perfer later? I hate you. Why must you be such an awesome writer. HeHeHeHe...yep...My fandamonium is getter stronger and stronger. Awesome write- Great imagery. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Cool poem I loved it! Lauren |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Leah...uh 8th grade?...wOW...that sure is a darn awesoem piece for a middle schooler  ...wonderful imagery...need i say more?...YES..MORE!!...HeHe...buh bye  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-06-2001).] |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Wow! Grade 8? It's pretty good! All I can say, is...you've gotten way better! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
year 8? My oh my. You really are a talented little muffin aren't you? The way you wrote about this man and his captivity was really good. You've expressed yourself quite clearely and the emotions and experiences of this man also very well. Well done. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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