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Teen Poetry #5
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Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-08-17 12:43 PM


Solitude

Inside a cold, dark chamber,
There is nothing but blackness,
Emptiness…
A slight noise can be heard,
A weak beating sound,
Boom-boom, boom-boom…
Drops of clear icy pain
Fall into the dark abyss,
Tears…
Emptiness reigns,
While my heart
Beats weakly,
Filled with icy tears
Of solitude.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

© Copyright 2001 Sara - All Rights Reserved
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
1 posted 2001-08-17 03:36 AM


Your poem is really deep I love it keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-08-17 06:53 PM


Blah. I've felt like that before. Very nice description here. Me likes.  

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

3 posted 2001-08-17 07:34 PM


this is very strong i like it very much cant wait to see more  

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-08-20 10:57 PM


Strong emotions..
"Drops of clear icy pain
Fall into the dark abyss,
Tears..."
I think this is a poem a lot of people can connect with... You described the painful feelings perfectly.  Nicely done!  I really enjoyed this one.

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-08-20 10:57 PM


Aargh... so sorry!  Double post!  

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 08-20-2001).]

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
6 posted 2001-08-21 07:47 AM


Marie stole my quote  

Argh well anyway... really nice poem!! very well written!

ALLIE

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