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Teen Poetry #5
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DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255


0 posted 2001-08-16 11:06 AM


Little girl fly away
To where the emptiness fades
And life begins
Where you rise above
All the sorrows
That have controlled
A life in which you drown
Never again
Stand beside yourself
Hating the image you portray
Fly high
And dance with the stars
Never forgetting
The love you share
And the life that is to come


ok im not sure if this one is finished but it is for now :P havent you all missed me?!

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

© Copyright 2001 Kat - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-08-16 12:09 PM


hey, I liked this one. It was good. In my opinion, I think you could add a little more to complete it, but it's good the way it is too.I hope to see more soon
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Poet Unknown
Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140
Missouri
2 posted 2001-08-16 12:10 PM


what to say bout it hmm, it was great i enjoyed readin it  )

Only darkness falls on those without souls

zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180

3 posted 2001-08-16 06:36 PM


It's nice.  

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
4 posted 2001-08-16 11:04 PM


Fly away...Oh how nice that would be...  
I liked this alot...I thought the short lines were a great touch...I GUESS you could add to it...BUT- I like it just fine how it is.   Miss you? HaHaHa- No.  
.......kidding.  

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-08-20 12:32 PM


I missed you!!  
It's awesome to see your name back on the forum pages, DAOTS!  I really liked this one... unfinished, yes (so it seemed), but very well written.. This brought back familiar thoughts.  When I was little, I used to envy caterpillars because they could turn into these beautiful creatures and fly away... completely unharmed.  Flying away... a dream of mine when I was young... thanks so much for bringing these memories back.
Awesome work.  I enjoyed what you have, and if you come back and work on it a little more, I would LOVE to see the finished product  
Well done.

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
6 posted 2001-08-20 03:00 AM


Great poem keep up the awsome work1
  Lauren

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
7 posted 2001-08-26 01:06 AM


I like this poem, the thought and creativity behind it is really great. Often times I would like to "fly away" as well, 'till your next!

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
~Steven Wright

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
8 posted 2001-08-26 01:24 AM


WOW this is great. i loved it. wonderful job here.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-09-03 02:24 AM


I thought this was fine, but I really didn't know when to stop or go due to no punct.
Anyhow, I did enjoy this poem.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Jezziekaka
Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58
where the trees touch the sky
10 posted 2001-09-05 07:33 PM


DarkAngelOfTheStars~ I love this poem!!  

be dangerous, unpredictable, and make a lot of noise!

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

11 posted 2001-09-05 11:53 PM


"Fly high
And dance with the stars
Never forgetting
The love you share
And the life that is to come"

you did a FINE job on writing this, Kat ...the message is one to inspire ...im glad to see one of your poems again!...i really liked it...buh bye

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

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