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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-15 04:10 PM


The Art of One

Upon my desk of wood I find
A faded vision within one mind.
To feel and taste the art of one
Paint fresh the scene before the sun.
Stroke fast the feather of the brush
And paint of skies of morning's blush.
Dip light the ink of blackened dusk
And write a tale of broken trust.
Fly upon the paper spun
Draw the lead of visions won.
Cut the ribbons that lightly flow
And paste them to a maiden's bow.
Bind them 'round her slender waist
That shows her glowing, tender grace.
Her eyes are light, yet glowing dim
For there is something she hides within.
And pencil in her thoughts of woe
Of thoughts so dark, or white as snow.

As the picture folds in stories...

=====
Perhaps a little explanation would be best for this one...
This poem recalls the memory of someone finding a piece of art upon their desk made by another artist. The fourth line goes into almost an imperative speech, as if the person is in the artist's mind. It speaks of the background scene, the skies and such. Then it goes into more detail: The slender girl with the ribbons. This piece of art is actually a tale of hidden secrecy and in a way, it is dark. At the end, the person leaves the mind of the artist, while the artist lets you finish the story.
Anyways, this is just a little something to feed your minds...

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-08-15 04:38 PM


I am glad you gave the explanation cause I wasn't totally following it. Once I understood what you were doing, I found it to be a very good poem.Good flow, and  very cool effect. Definately left me thinking a little
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
2 posted 2001-08-15 08:34 PM


iliked this a lot, although for once i didn't need an explanayion, lol. i though that this was very good. great work here

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

3 posted 2001-08-15 08:38 PM


i liked the poem it was very interesting  

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2001-08-16 10:48 AM


Great flow, wonderful words, awesome poem.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
5 posted 2001-08-16 11:02 AM


Awesome! This had great flow, mesmerizing imagery. I was totally caputured by this piece. Great job!  

Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there.

zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180

6 posted 2001-08-16 06:40 PM


!! (lack of words..)

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-08-17 06:00 AM


Ooo mind feeding pieces...yum!  

Leah you are definitely on the better poets in these forums. Your way with words is exceptional and if you don't do something like publish a book or make at least some amount of money from writing, you'll be disappointed in the long run. Your poetry is amazing and this piece is no exception. It is quite creative and a killer flow. Be proud damnit!  

Thanks for sharing this and make sure you keep on doing so.  

~AF~

I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot*

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
8 posted 2001-08-17 06:57 PM


I'm with Lizzy on this one...You are most definelty one of my more favored poets. This was awesome. Wow!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Poet Unknown
Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140
Missouri
9 posted 2001-08-17 07:03 PM


twas a great read, nice rhyme and flow enjoyed reading it
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
10 posted 2001-08-17 09:38 PM


Iambic Tetrameter = a good thing.     When done correctly.
Goodness... I don't have much to say about this poem, really.  It flowed well due to the meter scheme and it had some great images.  All the lines came together wonderfully.
I'm in accord with EJ that you're one of the better writers here, you are very articulate and it shines in your poetry.  Great job on another marvelous milestone in your writing career.
Yours,
~Allan

The children of the nobility are playing here. they look up at you with disgust as you come near.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
11 posted 2001-08-20 11:20 PM


Awesome write, Leah.  The explination was very helpful.. I was thinking along different lines after first reading the poem.  After reading the explination, and the poem again a few times, I was more and more impressed.  Each read through I caught something I missed before.  A word, or image... everything in this poem is written marvelously.  The images are beautiful, and the way you described the painting was brilliant... it was almost as if I was looking at it myself.  Very thought provoking piece here.. and one to be very proud of.  I really enjoyed this one.. Nice work, Leah!  You're a talented writer, and one I always enjoy seeing in the forums.  Good work!

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
12 posted 2001-08-20 11:38 PM


The little explanation was helpful.  Like I've said before, you have a great gift for rhyming.  I really liked the end part
"As the picture folds in stories..."
Kinda referring to the cliche "stories unfolding in pictures"
Good job

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
13 posted 2001-08-21 12:36 PM


LEAH!!!..this is awesome!!i loved every bit of it...hunny you keep getting better and better and better at this poetry thing....im jealous!...you never fail to put me in awe..i LOVE your work! agpfagp!!!!!

"Kiss my Starfish!
My chocolate Starfish punk!"
-'Hot dog'
Limp Bizket

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
14 posted 2001-08-21 07:45 AM


I really liked this... was very interesting!!
And the explination helps *slow* people like me!

ALLIE

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

15 posted 2001-09-06 04:39 PM


though-provoking and VERY beautifully written...amazing and the lines where...

"Of thoughts so dark, or white as snow"

that says sO well of the writer of this poem.. ...enjoyed it LOTS...buh bye

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

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