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Teen Poetry #5
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Much Better Then Dad
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Much Better Then Dad |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA 
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Hey. This one, I don't really know where it came from. Just an idea in my head... I think it might have possibly been inspired by, "Don't Laugh At Me" by Mark Wills... I don't know. I haven't even heard that song yet today, but the first line is kinda mentioned in the song. Anywho, let me know what ya think!  O ya, the title is explained in the last line of this piece. MUCH BETTER THEN DAD I am the "bum" on this street corner Please, won't you stop staring at me? Here I'm holding this cardboard sign This isn't how I dreamed life to be At one time I had a good job Serving hamburgers from 8 to 5 At the 9th street Dairy Queen Paid enough to keep my family alive Then one day they had to lay me off I was afraid, but I'd get a new job I got home to find my family was gone I knew not where they were; I began to sob Late that night the hospital called I felt myself beginnig to get the chills Wife and son's car was hit by a drunk Insurance would not cover the bills I decided to sell all that I had All that they took barely covered the cost My son's life was furtunately saved But my wife's was tragically lost I haven't been able to live life the same Applying for jobs, I did a lot of that The few interview they gave me I was rejected; said I smelled like a rat We were taken to the shelter My son is now older but i am not sad He's getting a highschool education That way his life will be lived Much better then that of his dad [This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 08-14-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
That was awesome. The only problem I had with the poem was the line about smelling like a rat. The rest of the poem was great but that line just didn't seem to fit with the rest of it. Almost too childish sounding. Other than that I was extremely impressed with this piece Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Nicely done, Cody. I thought the poem was creative, although different from your usual. I enjoyed it! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I thought this was really good and I'm sure it's true for some people. Great job on this.  Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there. |
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Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
*sniff* *sniff* thats sad u made my cwy  GOOD JOB!! I never cry  |
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MetallicIce New Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 1Pennsylvania, USA |
Wow.. so sad but I really like it. You did a wonderful job on this poem. I look forward to reading more of your pieces. Keep it up Love like there's no tomorrow. |
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Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
ummm how come my smilie saddies show up as 's |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
That was awesome Cody! Absolutely awesome! I can't wait to read more.  Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This is really sad. It touched me....geesh. It could happen to any of us. Well done on expressing your thoughts in this one Cody.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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