Lonely Leprechaun On A Three Day Binge

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Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

0 posted 2001-08-13 01:54 AM

Losing
Only
Now
Even
Losing
You

Lowest
Epitome
Perhaps
Reality
Annihilated
Cold
Hearted
Enemies
Under
Night skies

Ongoing
Notions

Avoided

Trodding
Heavily
Rejecting
Every
Emotion

Damned
And
Yellow

Bleeding
Inside
Now
Gone
Eternally
This is a style that i've never used before...so i'd love to hear what everyone has to say about it...

" How can i feel if i can't breathe...?"
- Godsmack

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member

since 2000-01-24

Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio

1 posted 2001-08-13 02:09 AM

*sneaks into teen* hey my friend. i like this format you used. and as always i like it

glad to see ya back my friend.

peace

Jesse

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her - but, alas, she was waiting for the perfect man.

[This message has been edited by Jesse Jaymz (edited 08-13-2001).]

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2001-08-13 10:28 AM

Reminds me of something I wrote..bout magenta rainbows and stupidity watermelons...hehe...I really liked this, the style is one you've done well. Keep postin and I'll keep readin, wether you see me reply or not

~Carly

Speak softly and carry a beagle.

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught."
~Edouard Manet

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

3 posted 2001-08-13 11:47 AM

I really liked this format. It worked really well for the poem... maybe I should try it with my own sometime. anyway good job here, until your next piece...

Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there.

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2001-08-13 04:18 PM

It's really difficult to write in this style and I think you did a very good job. I think you should attempt this style more often.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-08-14 04:22 PM

Hey Jesse!

I really liked this format. This is one that I've tried a few times, but in order to do this you have to have strong words. You did very well here. Experimenting is always a good thing!

Nicely done.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-08-15 06:17 PM

Awesome! Yep, trying something new is always a good thing. I thought you did a wonderful job. Me likes!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

7 posted 2001-08-15 08:54 PM

hey,wow i liked this a lot i think you did work well with this style. great work

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-08-24 11:03 PM

You did quite well on this. The format was nicely done. I enjoyed the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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