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Teen Poetry #5
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-08-12 10:06 PM


Juxtaposition

Between thoughts of earth
And fear that Death can cancel
The miracle of birth
Two can stand
For a miracle

When chaos becomes immortal
Hope is just twinkling
in its fast fading portal
Two can wait
For a miracle

Lines have crossed
And eyes of God
Seem to be lost
Two can smile
For a miracle

Hanging seconds swinging
Beat 'gainst drums on count
For what a moment is bringing
Two(side by side)
Are a miracle

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Kaos
Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317
between space and time
1 posted 2001-08-13 02:48 AM


i really liked this piece...it had a nice hopeful quality to it...a quality alot of my work lacks..but a quality i admire...good post

" How can i feel if i can't breathe...?"
- Godsmack

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
2 posted 2001-08-13 04:17 AM


This poem is really good I liked it.Keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2001-08-13 10:16 AM


I'm in a rather lovey dovey mood, is the end suggesting that two people finding each other is a miracle? Hehe...way off I'm sure. I enjoyed this muchos..you're so very not clear when you write and I think its killer   Mind candy
  ~Carly

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-08-14 04:03 PM


Mind candy?  Hehe..
this was very well written, Foz.  I enjoyed the mysteriousness of this poem.  The beginning, talking about the miracle, kind of confused me, but I thought the rest was well written.  Not my fav by you, but very good, nonethe less  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-08-15 06:10 PM


Sean, I am a huge fan of you're writing and this is yet another post that has pulled me in closer. HeHe.. I loved it. I thought it was very well done. something about the way it read (in my head) was kick arse.   haha...Off I go...More I say!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
6 posted 2001-08-15 08:52 PM


i really loved this one. you did a great job on this, keep up the good work

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-08-26 03:10 AM


That was just a supreme display of talent. I really loved the poem. Very well done here foz. :smokin :

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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