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holatuwol
Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72
California, USA

0 posted 2001-08-12 08:12 PM


This one felt like it was going to get long, so we decided to cut it short, slice it into pieces, and make it a series to make it easier to read. ^_^  At least, I hope it's easier to read... oo;  hehehe  Once again, as noted in the subject line, this is one of those collaboration poems; this one's done with Leah. ^_^v

----------------------------------------

Forgotten Shadows - [1] The Cloaked One
(collaboration: holatuwol, chasing rain)


White clouds and dark mist
Overlay an evergreen forest
Cloaking it with watery dewdrops,
Bringing it fresh water
From faraway streams and rivers.

The trees whisper with the wind
In the language of the leaves
As clouds line the sky with shadows.

Shadows of clouds
Bringing down echoing raindrops,
Raindrops of crimson,
Tears filled with blood.

And in the empty-sided silence
One can hear the faint call
Of the cloaked figure...

Cloaked by the moonlight,
Hiding from the sun's elegant rays,
Searching to taste the bitter-sweetness
That lingers as the clouds and mist pass by.

He is but a bleak figure
Against a background of blacks and grays.
Beneath his cloak, he smiles a smile
Full of menacing power and grace
Like a cold sun on a winter's evening
Hidden by the shadows of the clouds.

Hiding... wherefore?
Fear of being hunted... perhaps.
Though, with the smile that he carries,
One wonders if it is more...
A predator, playing with an unaware prey.

His eyes hold a cold gleam
As they set upon a castle gate
Wrought of hard iron.
Beyond the gates, there lies an open window
A candle flickers in the dark
As a love song wafts through the air
In full harmony with the wind.

Notes of a siren played on a harp,
As the voice of a bard
Lulls a princess into his arms.
The sweet love melody, lingering on the wind,
Marking the perfect prey tonight
For the cloaked figure, riding on the winds.

With a wave of his hand
A cold mist surrounds him
As he disappears into the night
Waiting for the perfect time
To strike.
For now, he waits in deathly silence...

© Copyright 2001 MinhChau Dang - All Rights Reserved
mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
1 posted 2001-08-12 08:39 PM


Oooh I really liked this one! the ending sent shivers down my spine...   *hangs in suspense* can't wait to see more

Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there.

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
2 posted 2001-08-12 10:37 PM


There seem to be more and more collaborations lately. That's a good thing in my opinion.  To be honest, I was a bit turned off by the fantasy type theme. But besides that, I was able to enjoy it very much.  The skill put forth in this piece is evident. Good Job!!

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
3 posted 2001-08-13 04:19 AM


This poem is cool I liked it!
  Lauren

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
4 posted 2001-08-13 09:17 AM


..........so a library piece!
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-08-14 03:58 PM


Wowsers, you guys... I loved this one.  VERY MUCH of a library piece.  I loved the ending... VERY mysterious.  Nicely done, you two.  Very fine pair you make.  This is a little long, but well worth the read.  I can't wait for the second in the series!!
Beautiful work.  THe images and the dark tone the whole piece had was aweomse.  Well done the both of you.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
6 posted 2001-08-14 05:20 PM


Thanks everyone for your replies. Much appreciated.  

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180

7 posted 2001-08-14 05:28 PM


very good! very very good! very very very good!!   (guess I'm a bit overtaken here..)

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
8 posted 2001-08-17 01:29 PM


this was goooood! great work MC and Leah. cant wait for more  
tiff


Allan Riverwood is a sexay man!

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 08-17-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
9 posted 2001-08-17 01:33 PM


Hey you two.  Well I'm finally giving my reply.  
Call me crazy but the whole poem drew Garlo in my mind.  The scenery you portrayed, the imagery and description, is very well done.  It's what I'd expect from you two, considering it's a strong point of each of yours.
I'm very satisfied with this post.  It's a part of a series, as you say, so I'll hold my general statement on it for the very end.  
Great work you two,
~Allan

The children of the nobility are playing here. they look up at you with disgust as you come near.

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