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Carly and Allan
New Member

since 2001-04-28

Posts 5
USA/Canada

0 posted 2001-08-11 10:34 PM

Winter's Violin

Tranquil mornings when I'm waking
Capture and enthrall the light
Breathe it deeply, peace relaxing
Rapture of a noonday heart

Sinking sights within the bedsheets
Reminisce of whats anew
Paint the souls of heartache's longings
Violinists never through

Closing eyes and candles tasting
Waste the day and call it mine
Breach and meet the wind, awaken
Peace in heaven's earthly signs

Shattered glass and scattered promise
futures spanning ever on
footstep snuffing out the moonlight
crawling at the calling dawn

Sunshine's murmur that romances
lover's hands that close our lips
Cold, compelling, everlasting
haunting life within a kiss

While the tempest shakes the forest
wreaking havoc in the trees
Love shall keep your windows open
welcoming the winter freeze

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-08-12 12:22 PM

WOAH! This is a really mindblowing piece from you two. I had to read it twice over to let it fully sink in! The last stanza was good- a bit chilling but GOOD! i enjoy much of what you two come up with and this is by far the best

thanks for sharing this was awesome i enjoyed it greatly!

period pain is HELL!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-12 12:17 PM

You two always blow me away. This poem is certainly no exception. VERY beautiful work, you guys. Definitely a perfect match!

  I thought the whole poem had a peaceful tone to it, until the last stanza.  Repeating Cherish, it was chilling.
This piece left me with chills after reading it aloud.  Amazing work!
"Sunshine's murmur that romances
lover's hands that close our lips
Cold, compelling, everlasting
haunting life within a kiss"
Very romantic stanza, and definitely my favorite throughout.  Wonderfully done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

3 posted 2001-08-12 07:14 PM

This is awesome... just awesome. That's all I can say.

Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there.

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

4 posted 2001-08-12 08:01 PM

This was great you guys. keep up all the effort.

Regina

holatuwol
Member

since 2001-04-27

Posts 72
California, USA

5 posted 2001-08-12 08:18 PM

Reading poetry by either of you is oftentimes an awe-inspiring experience, as many of the members of Passions will agree.  However, reading a collaboration between the two of you is a slightly different experience... it didn't inspire awe from the style of it, or from the flow of it, as it seems not to flow in any single direction, but sort of shows elements of both of your writings. ^_^

The images that you two painted seemed to dance with each other and take the reader's breath away... I really thought this was an excellent collaboration.  Starting off without any rhymes, and then the rest of the poem seemingly painted with rhymes, and then the last stanza returning again to that original state. ^^  Cyclic flow...

And I *love* your title!  ^^  Very pretty... and it sets the mood for a very romantic piece... you know, you two really are mentors for people to look up to. ^_^  Balance of emotion and mutual understanding make writing poetry together seem easy... *whistles*  You two rule!  Excellent job on this one, Carly and Allan. ^_^v  I wonder what any future collaborations you two write will look like... if you two write anything, post, ne? ^_^v

- holatuwol

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-08-12 10:26 PM

I am a big fan of both your works. I was just amazed by this piece. The last stanza especially is classic. Great job on the collaboration. I hope there are more to come.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-08-23 10:22 PM

Cherish - Thanks for the

! It means a lot coming from you hon. See you around.

Marie - Your praise deffernitely means a lot to me, and Carly too I'm sure. Your favourite stanza? Yeah, I like that one too. *cough*I wrote that one*cough*

Misty - enough said.

Thanks for your interest and your approval, it's much appreciated.

Ina - Sweet of you to read this and reply.

  I'm glad you liked it.

MC - Dude!  A reply from you is like winning the lottery amongst PIP members, I was thrilled to see you read and replied this one!  Yeah, I like the title too *cough*Carly did the title*cough*

Ozz - haven't seen you in ages... nice to see a reply of yours again.

Hear that Carly? We have FANS!

You eat the brains of an old, wise man.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

8 posted 2001-08-24 03:07 AM

hah yall r so cutish *tweak allan and carlay*
i loooove yall

dude! yall got Mc posting to ya. *clap* thats an achievement in itself..

as for the collab....woooo omg its great.
i *loved* it. best poem ive read in too long a time. im happy to see you both writing again. and i cant wait for more. this is in the library for sures. *peck*
love ya both.
and carlay.. dont get too jealous of my sig

*inno*
tiff

Allan Riverwood is a sexay man!

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