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Teen Poetry #5
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Children of Nobility (a villanelle)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Children of Nobility (a villanelle) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves your sleep will end abruptly, and in peace while infant martyrs decorate your graves my lust is not your solitaire conclaves nor studded golden lining of your fleece fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves my hand will soothe your nightmares as my slaves to march into procession of release while infant martyrs decorate your graves so ill, the road before you slowly paves too bleak, you speak, while your convulsions cease fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves a worthy end of virtue, death depraves the ocean waters thick, that stick like grease while infant martyrs decorate your graves the spectre death who echoes in the caves is dripping slowly t'wards us, piece by piece fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves while infant martyrs decorate your graves |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is awesome Allan... dark but still awesome. I really liked it.  |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
thanks misty. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I truly enjoyed this one Allan; I think I liked the first stanza the best though. I think I have read it three or four times now, and I have noticed something now about the poem each time. This will surly grace my library, thank you for sharing this masterful piece and as always I look forward to more. Until your next masterpiece P.S. You’re so sexy  heh heh I love the new picture.-- Linc "Blood Moon" |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"my hand will soothe your nightmares as my slaves to march into procession of release while infant martyrs decorate your graves so ill, the road before you slowly paves too bleak, you speak, while your convulsions cease fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves" Allan, this is so dark and deep, but you have the ability to make it so beautiful. I love this piece, and it is a token of the level of your talent, a level we should all strive to achieve.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Darnit... Erica stole my favorite stanza! I'll past it anyway  "so ill, the road before you slowly paves too bleak, you speak, while your convulsions cease fret not, sweet child of these enchanted waves" This is so beautiful... your writing astounds me more with every piece I read. This one is very dark... a lot darker than others I've read from you. And that's my preference, so the more the better! I loved how deep your words are here... very impressive. Nicely done, Mr. Riverwood!--Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
This was totally awesome. i loved this, it was awesome. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Allan, as said, i love your work, and i am glad to see that you are posting once again. You and your villanelles, sheesh.. You do well with this format, and you were the one who taught me how to do one, they are both fun and challenging. Wonderful job Mister Riverwood! Jeff ~Jeff~ |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I loved this! Wow!  You are an incredible writer.THere is nothing I can say that hasn't been said already...so I won't bother. HaHa, but I just wanted you to be sure that I DID read this and I was highly impressed. Nothing short of spectacular. I loved the staggered ( Right word, I hope..haha) repetition of the last line in each stanza. Very nicely done. (And I usually hate repetition.) I think the poem wouldn't have the same impact if it didn't have it though- so kudos. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Hey Allan!! Glad to see you posting. I loved this as usual... Keep up the nifty writing!!Btw *pinches your cheeks* You're sooooo cute!! Love the pic. Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
omg this is great allan. dont u love how BM inspires shtuff? and this is sooo atlantis and the nobility kiddies. dark and deep. perfect! i think this is amazing. u did a wonderful job on it. glad to c u posting/writing again hun. into my library this shall go. Love you tiff Blood Moon |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Okay- I for one feel like a huge horses arse! After reading your poem, and then quickly glancing over Erica's Villanelle (Yes Erica, just a glance- I have no time to read write now- I shall reply later though. ) I notice SHE TOO had the staggered repeating lines. I'm GUESSING that this is what a villanelle IS. HaHa- Soooo My apologies for my HUGE ignorance. LMAO. Yet still- I like this. HaHaYou wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You could just say you like the villanelle format, right Spice? The children of the nobility are playing here. they look up at you with disgust as you come near. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is really awesome and dark. i like the pic. katie "by takeing no risks you are really risking everything" |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Allan~ Very, very nicely done~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Very Good piece, Strong and dark... But still very nice read, ALLIE |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work Allan I really enjoyed the read, I love your villanelles they are alwasy so strong and this was no exception. Zu |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
*walks into the room* *drools* *walks out, still drooling* uhm....yea you know what i think about this already See ya 'round, kid.~Carly Speak softly and carry a beagle. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Hey Allan, sorry for not commenting earlier...I finally got around to it, see? Anyways, this was nice. lol...*cough*"my hand will soothe your nightmares as my slaves to march into procession of release while infant martyrs decorate your graves" Personally, my favorite stanza. You had some wonderful dark content, as everyone else mentioned. After the third stanza...the poem just didn't...hit me. It kind of...hmm...I didn't feel what I thought I should've felt when reading this. It was missing something, but I can't pinpoint where or what it was...that's pretty much it. But great work anyways! -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
See, you made me cry again...But its all good. Thanx for the read, it was AWESOME "A friend's shoulder makes a |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this one a lot Allan! Very well done! I loved the way you wrote it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
LOVED this read... "a worthy end of virtue, death depraves the ocean waters thick, that stick like grease while infant martyrs decorate your graves" VERY well written as all your poems are...buh bye  if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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