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Teen Poetry #5
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-08 08:17 PM


Northern Lights

Pickled stars hang on silver threads in the sky
Swaying lightly to the tune
Of forgotten dreams.
Sorrow fills the air as mist does to tears
And lines the bare sky line
With hues of purple, blue, and a touch of black
While larks sing to the moon.
The whistling of the wind playes with the trees
And the forest dances to the tune of the night.
Streaks of light leap across the sky
And embrace the sky above.
Swirling colours of green and pink
Embellish the world with rays of light
Stroking the stars...
Or so that's what it seems.
The moon enjoys this little show
And laughs along.
Slowly the light fades
And the forest is left
To the waking of the sun
So full of golds and reds.
And as the day begins
The light embraces the sky above
And holds the world
Within its hands...

=====
This was actually originally called "Pickles", why? I have no clue. I think it was the stars at the beginning...anywho, did anyone notice that I write about night a lot? Yeesh...

-Leah



Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
Delirious_Smurf
Member
since 2001-08-08
Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.
1 posted 2001-08-08 09:44 PM


Hey  
Niiice...I specially loved this part

"And as the day begins
The light embraces the sky above
And holds the world
Within its hands..."

How beautiful...*thumbs up*

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-08-08 10:14 PM


This is gorgeous... I did notice that you write about night... but writing about night one can write more images.  Wonderful work!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-08-09 01:03 AM


To be honest, the title would have sucked if THIS poem was called Pickles haha. Anyhow I really liked the poem. I thought it rocked.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
4 posted 2001-08-09 01:58 AM


purdy poem! hehe i liked it!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-08-09 09:50 AM


beautifully done  
anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-09-06 04:58 PM


beautiful, as always.. ...and "pickles"...umm...WHY?..

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-09-07 09:51 AM


You write about night a lot do you? I hadn't noticed.  

Who cares though? Night poems are far better than day ones. You can get more from them.
This one had a quality to it that wasn't off the same standard of your other night ones. The descriptions were beautiful, I'll give you that, but I feel you could have gone into them a bit more.

Thanks for the read though. I enjoyed it but not as much as your others.  

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-09-07 10:16 AM


"Swirling colours of green and pink
Embellish the world with rays of light
Stroking the stars...
Or so that's what it seems.
The moon enjoys this little show
And laughs along."

WHoa!! I do not know what to say to this poem!! All i can say is AMAZING!! And i love that part above ^...Truely amazing work!!! You are so talented   Im jealous!!!!

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2005-08-28 03:05 AM


very nice
Kaos
Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317
between space and time
10 posted 2006-01-17 01:15 PM


'Swaying lightly to the tune
Of forgotten dreams.'

i love that grouping... i'm not sure what it is about it but anyway... awesome piece, thanks for sharing

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-i wrote it somewhere in time

aaron woodside
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256

11 posted 2007-01-19 02:05 PM


Must bump a Chasing Rain poem...habit.  Not that you will ever know since this is archived.  

They say the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.  So where's my sweet?

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