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Curse the Moon.
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Curse the Moon. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. 
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Curse the Moon. Curse the moon. Maliciously she creeps over me, Suddenly obscuring my radiant, nirvana glow. Her pale, white light sets you deep into a trance of awe. And you slowly become oblivious to me. Somehow you managed to look past her flawed surface, But how could you overlook the deep craters of her soul? Why are my luminant beams so easily cast aside? The same rays that warmed you incessantly… I used to long for my dawning hour. Brimming with zeal while my flames of admiration tickled you awake. But you, you desire the night. The moon, With her cool demeanor and mysterious form enchants you. Can’t you realize her light is but a luster? Just a mere reflection of my magnificent blaze. Yes, curse the moon. She has, once again, eclipsed me from your view. Soon though, she will continue her trek, And thus reveal my forever-stifled glow. ***Yes, I know. A COMPLETE 180 from what I'm used to doing. I got bored and decided to try something knew. LOOK! Big words! for those of you who have seen other "poems" from me, you'll notice that usually it's just TALKING. Nothing fancy at all, just one huge vent. So ya, don't be TOO critical, but I WOULD like to here what you think. Like HONESTLY think. And this time I mean it! No more posts for awhile. FAR too many in 1 month already...Shame on me.  ***You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 08-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica L. Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Heya Jesa. First of all, WOW! The imagery in this is quite exceptional and your usage of long and short lines really altered the way it was read. The comparison between your 'glow' and the moons 'glow' was very creative of you. The ending in this finished the piece off extremely well (you don't see that often  ) and the descriptive measures that you went to highlight the moons features in yourself was definitely what captured my attention. You have out done yourself. By far, this is one of the best poems I have ever read from you. Keep coming with these wonderful pieces we'll have to give you 'the poet that seriously kicks ass' award.  Don't hold back because you shared a few in one month. Keep them coming for the devoted fans. *points to herself* ~AF~ "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
WHOA!!!!! Nice job here hun!!! Im glad you decided to do a complete 180 and try somethin new out..i like ur other work a lot but this one was absolutely refreshing and radiant!!! excellent job and i've neva experienced or appreciated the moon in the way i do now after reading your poem ever before....excellent... |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I'll have to go with everyone else on this one...WOW!! This totally blew me away...I thought it was terrific. Excellent, excellent write here! ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This was quite a suprise! I am very impressed with this poem. the imagery was great. You should definately try this style more often. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I think this is awesome. The symbolism is great. Into my library it hops |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
YES!!! CURSE THE MOON! CURSE THE MOON I TELL YOU!!! CURSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shakes fist* *ahem* Hi. Onto something more relevent: Your poem. This is beautifully written. Your imagery is amazing, and I loved how you personified the moon. I enjoyed your style very much. I don't care if you wrote too much this month...POST WOMAN! POST! (following guidelines, of course. )-Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
THis was different from your past poems, but I loved it! Sometimes its great to try something new, especially here! Great job, and I hope to see more like this! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Different is usually a pretty good thing... but in this case, it's an EXCEPTIONAL thing! I loved this, Jess! The images are amazing, and the $1.00 words are nicely used. "Yes, curse the moon. She has, once again, eclipsed me from your view. Soon though, she will continue her trek, And thus reveal my forever-stifled glow." I absolutely loved this... and the personification throughout was awesome as well. Wow... beautiful work. I REALLY enjoyed this one. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
this was a great read! keep em coming! robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Simply amazing. I thought it was awesome Jessica. I didn't find it to be a complete change from most of your poetry because within your earlier forms of writing you encooperated a lot of deep meanings in simple expression, whereas here you have a deep meaning within a little bit more complex way of telling the story. You also add a bit of vocabulary. Nice flaunt, hehe. I really love what you are saying in this poem. I thought you told the story well. Awesome job on this one Jess....I am fully surprised and impressed with this poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Great Job Jesa! This is an awesome poem! Well, g2g, bye!  Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
"maliciousley she creeps over me" WOW, This was absolutely amazing. A total 180 of your normal poetry? Well there seemed nothing wrong with this. It almost made me speechless, and thats a very hard thing to do to me!! I loved it. Keep writing!  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Delirious_Smurf Member
since 2001-08-08
Posts 90Nothingness,P.R. |
Well this is my very first post but I've read a couple of yer poems, Jessica!!..I randomly read this forum every now and then And wow I thought that was so great...seemed very heartfelt...full of emotions..and I loved how it was written! Go you!! |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
I can't express in words how much I like it because the poem left me in awe. I really enjoyed this poetry and it went to so many levels I couldn't tell what you were really trying to say, although on the surface your really just describing a lunar eclipse, is it that when the moon blocks the sun right?, the poem actually relates to many other topics in life, I don't even know what else to say except great job.  I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Personal Thankyous: Lizzy- Devoted fan, you say? 20 bucks and I'll send you an autographed picture. LOL. I'm glad you liked it....or I'm glad you pretended to like it. LOL. Shugar- So you liked the change, aye? I dunno- I'm still kinda iffy on it... But thanks for the encouragement. Shygirl- *Grabs you* Don't blow away! haha- Thankyou for the kind words. Keoni- I worry about trying it again...Afraid that perhaps it won't be as liked as this one, ya know. But maybe I will- who knows. hehe. But I'm glad it impressed you. Mistic- Ya, of all the things I didn't like- I did like the symbolism. Library? Wow! Thanks! Leah- Yes, following guidelines- of course.  Muwahaha. Glad you liked it. Heavens Tears- Glad you liked the change. Nice of you to say so. Marie- Wow! thanks! Means so much to me that you enjoyed this. Robin- I shall try! hehe. Glad ya liked it. Javi- You should have seen me writing this. I was curled up on the couch with a 2 notpads, a dictionary, and a thesaurus. Big words just aren't my thing. LOL. But I tried. I'm really really glad you Liked it. Means so much to me. You just better not be lying. Allysa- Hey! Thanks for the compliment. Kim- HaHa- See, now that was the one line I was kinda "blah" about...But since you liked thta one specifically it makes me feel tons better. Thanks! Laura!- HURA!!! You're here! Now alls ya gotta do is get over in Teen Chat and hang out. HeHe. Thanks bunches for the reply and nice words. Hope to see you posting bunches as well. And Crash&Burn- ( Or fart boy) The one friend of Javi's I don't know. HaHa. Yep..."symbolism" I guess is what I was attempting at. Describing an eclipse but ya, had a deeper meaning. And now that you say that- i guess it probably could go with ALOT of different things. But this one imparticular- for me, was about love. how another has eclipsed me from my lover's view and in the end has forever taken away my glow, my ability to love...even when she passes on and he forgets about her. Blah Blah, yet another sappylove poem haha...But ya-anyway- I'm really really glad you liked this one. Means alot. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
Gave me shivers...cool... i really like the imagery and the tone overall was played nicely...dopeness...right on! <--- look! i used a pun...haha " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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sean mani Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27 |
hey...let me just tell u that the words u use are excellent...i really like this poem and i encourage u to write more poems and if u think u have posted enough...let me be the first to riot and ask for 'more' lov sean...thanks for commentin on my poem 'september 29' check out my latest poem 'revelation to december' |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
OMG!!!!!!!this is awesome!!!..by far the best ive read from you..well ive enjoyed your other poems immensily..and this just makes me think that youre poems are getting better and better....and you're making me very jealous in the process *turns green*  wonderful symbolisms- i love the whole sun and moon thing and the way you told the story within this. you are a wonderful poet- keep writing outstanding pieces like this spice...i really enjoy them.. period pain is HELL! |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
This was awesome, i loved it. its going to the library, great work It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
I really think you should write like this more often! This was a very good, heartfelt, emotional poem, which (in my somewhat twisted mind) can be applied to many things in my life right now. Thx for the read. -Rich Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually). |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Jesa, Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have a pretty good idea who this poem is about. Everything connects with the small amount that I know bout the situation. Well, I'm probably wrong about this, but that was definitely the frist thing that came into mind. Awesome, awesome, awesome. I do believe though that you are the sun and he the moon. He only shines when you are around hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Right. |
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Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
wow that was rather intising and interesting Only darkness falls on those without souls |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
see, others like Javi agree hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
acire....two words here hun: YOU'RE CRAZY!!!! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!?!?! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I think he was being sarcastic Acire, dear. LOL- And what the hell is this? Teen Chat? And as far as WHO it is about. Thats for me to know and you to never find out...unless you are willing to offer a large sum for my troubles. LOL. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
aHhhh!! its the attact of the SAT words!!...*hides*...HeHe...  ...hey! Jesa...how ya doing?...oh ME?...doing just fine ...so how about dinner at 7:00 tomorrow?...oh almost forgot there ...the poem was awesome...had that dark taste to it...awesoem might Me say...JOB!...jkeep them coming and about the date thing...check on me later k?...  if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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