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Teen Poetry #5
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I heard a subtle fluttering...
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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I heard a subtle fluttering... |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Fluttering... Followed by a dark and distant silence. Consumed within a dying flame; The reflection of a shadow smiles back at me. I heard a subtle Fluttering... Spiral fumes pass through the vapid skin That clings desperately to my bones... {My bones} And the soul that longs to free itself From an ever watching glance. I heard a subtle Fluttering... A butterfly with kaleidoscopic wings Lends the stillness a tendril of fallen light Basking in the warmth of the darkness' black and white. I heard a subtle Fluttering... Ghostly fingers, unperceived within the emptiness Devours the 'fly from coming home Merciless of a hopeful dew To taint the skies and many souls... {My soul forever lost} I heard a subtle Fluttering... It was but the sound of scattered hearts ...beating through my screams.  * * * * * Guess who tried something new!? ^_^; I don't know either. o_O; Something a little darker for you all. ^^; And I added a picture too...and it's MINE! ^_^ If you can't see the picture (for evil reasons...and it's NOT my html), go here: Subtle Fluttering Enjoy! Best regards, leah "...and sometimes when the music whispers softly in your ears, takes some time to dream a dream and put aside your fears..." r.h.a.p.s.o.d.y. [This message has been edited by chasing rain (04-03-2002 08:40 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Leah...wow. Once again I'm in awe of you. I really like this style from you. It reminds me a song I heard in Russian. She was singing about broken hearts and scattered souls much like this piece. Hey! Learn Russian.  The imagery is mind blowing. I'd highlight bits I like but pulling sections out of an overall brilliant piece would be too difficult. Just know that you should write like this more often. I've missed your work. It's always so amazing and stand-outish.  Thank you ever so much for sharing this. It's in the library with everything else of yours. Keep that pen to the paper...or the keys to the keyboard. ~AF~ "Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
 My word leah... astounding! Truely, it is. How I wish I could write as you do. And how glad I am that I can appreciate your work. Simply wonderful. I loved the way you repeated I heard a subtle Fluttering... over and over. It brought the poem back to itself time and time again. "Lends the stillness a tendril of fallen light Basking in the warmth of the darkness' black and white." Love these lines. Splendidly written. They flow of the toungue... And the ending...  What can i say? Other then I loved it. ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Am I going to get that one picture soon? ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
EEP! Forgots about that...^_^; E-he-he-he...I forgot to let you know. Erm...I think we can arrange something...^^; LIZZY!!! *huggles Lizzy in her splendor of dark aura* You're back! *hops around* ^_^ YAY! |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
*swoon* leah, your writing is so.. so breath taking. gah can't even say how talented you are. *envies you yesh* This just showed your talent so well. I love the format you used, and the wording was just grand. Your repetiton fit the poem nicely and centered it all. It flowed well, and sounded great as I read it aloud and silently. It's just great. The picture went very well with it as well. *loved the pic* *stops her babbling* love you! *squish* ..tiff.. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
The end was sad...the whole piece was written beautifully!! well done leah!!! iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I bow to the, Queen of Poetry" You still amaze me with every word you write Lee-uh If I can only write that way  but still, ~*standing ovations*~  là où est mon amour? |
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