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anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo

0 posted 2001-08-06 10:55 AM


Cause unknown

A theatrical fantasy bound her to life
One step to the left, four back now smile!
Annihilation of a simple creature like herself
Became the first act in this twisted show.
Soul quickly set alight to divert the attention away
From the dialogue between doctor and patient
That became the main feature of act two
In the depths of a West Richmond house.
"In conclusion, Elizabeth, there is nothing wrong,
Suicide you say? You're not suicidal at all."
Despondently she tore up the pages of 'Medicine'
Whilst finishing off act three.
Act four came quite interestingly for the characters in row three,
Where the apparatus to define the boundaries of life
Was used and deliberately destroyed the diagnosis
Of the dear Doctor in Act three.
This deadly game where she held the key
Was too much for dear mother to bear.
Adjusting to circumstances beyond her control
Wore this tired woman into the ground in act five.
Cascading into act six whilst walking on a rope
Starred the elusive EJ in red ink.
Pink material hacked to bits
Laid down the magic carpet to fly away on.
The seventh act became a little hazy
As the directing in this show suddenly was shot to hell!
Memories and reality blended together
Erasing the fabrics that had very harshly held them together.
Wasted in the bottom of a vodka glass
Act eight became essential.
Here she cried and wished the night away
And to have a conversation with the stars.
Institutionalised deliberately in a field of blue angels,
Saw the downfall of act nine.
Frail and broken the plot began to thicken
As the voice in row three came back to haunt her.
Thoughts macabre and eyes blackened
Enchanted the creatures at nightfall.
Unstable, neurotic and loaded with madness,
Act ten delighted the jovial audience.
Act eleven too became hazy as the actors just adlibbed.
Misunderstanding the plot and the way it was meant to end
The words had no purpose being here
And their thoughts began to run wild.
Money. It's all about the money in act twelve,
Pay the morals of the dear doctor to turn away
And to sedate the main character before
Her waves of torment turned violent.
Act thirteen became the final act,
Where poetry was written and thoughts expressed.
Plagued with insecurities and a longing for death,
The phobia for needles faded away.
What the prologue forgot to mention though
Was the likelihood of this Elizabeth character fading away.
Before the production was finished however,
She somehow died in her sleep.
Cause unknown.

~AnonymousFemale~

"Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale

[This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 08-07-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved
mistic
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since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
1 posted 2001-08-06 01:32 PM


This is awesome. The imagery is wonderful and the entire poem is rather deep. I really liked it  
Child of the Stars
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2 posted 2001-08-06 02:10 PM


Crikey, EJ.....Yea I'd say I'm amazed, yep. Whoa. *breathes* The way it all fit together...all the symbolism, all the ideas, everything just..yep. Sorry for the lame reply...here, I'll give a better one...Great poem can't wait to see more! *smirk* catcha later Miz Elizabeth.
  ~One amazed little Carly

Speak softly and carry a beagle.

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught."
   ~Edouard Manet

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
3 posted 2001-08-06 03:45 PM


Awesome! That's all I got to say.Beautiful work EJ!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Jenn Cirrincione
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4 posted 2001-08-06 05:47 PM


Lizzy- I'm going to say two very important things about this piece. I believe you have a great gift and it shows blatently in this narrative poetry. I think it's beautiful and very well written. The second thing is that it worries me because it sounds so terribly real... and I want you to know that I'm always here for you if you'd like to talk. I'm off tomorrow, which means I'll be home. I'd love to talk to you. Look for me.

Much love-
Jenn

"Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
5 posted 2001-08-06 08:40 PM


EJ!
Beautiful work here, quite deep. A nice narrative poem for a nice quiet night.   I enjoyed the last part of the poem...quite different. You have such a great talent! Thank you for a very enjoyable read!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
6 posted 2001-08-07 12:55 PM


E.J.!   WOW! I LOVED this! SOOOOoooo Well done! I loved the whole "Act 1..2...3..etc etc... Very clever. The poem was incredibly deep. I'm so impressed. Just so damn impressed! Wow!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
7 posted 2001-08-07 03:03 AM


Wow... im baffled

"The words had no purpose being here"

My favourite line for sure... although it was hard to pick which line to copy...

This piece was amazing to put it softly... You're repetition gave us the "ground work" i supose of the play... foundations?? i suppose?... And then the changing feel in each "act" stiched it all together...

I must say i'm envious of your talent...

VERY NICE

*sorry about my sketchy description... it's prob all wrong*

ALLIE

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-08-07 03:15 AM


This was an excellent poem!! I really enjoyed it great job hun  
anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
9 posted 2001-08-07 04:13 AM


Thank you everyone for your kind words. I must say, the reception for this piece was overwhelming. This was my last piece to be posted here.
I'm glad to see that everyone enjoyed it.

Addio  

Elizabeth

"Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale


allie
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since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
10 posted 2001-08-07 07:06 AM


what do you mean last post???
Jenn Cirrincione
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11 posted 2001-08-07 09:02 AM


-- she's leaving passions...
Heavens Tears
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12 posted 2001-08-07 03:11 PM


This was absolutely amazing!  
I loved it!  It was so emotional, I just wanted to cry.  This was a great way to write it too, as a play of your life or something.  I am so sorry to see ya go, but I hope that you will reconsider, and if not, at least come back to say hi!!

chasing rain
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since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
13 posted 2001-08-07 03:21 PM


EXCUSE ME!? LEAVING PASSIONS!?   *upset*
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
14 posted 2001-08-07 08:59 PM


Lizzy, this is, once again, another breathtaking post from you. The imagery in this was to say the least awesome, but in its thoughts, horrorfying. I cant help but, like jenn, to be a bit worried about you.

Soul quickly set alight to divert the attention away

Cascading into act six whilst walking on a rope
                 Starred the elusive EJ in red ink.
                 Pink material hacked to bits
                 Laid down the magic carpet to fly away on

she cried and wished the night away

As the voice in row three came back to haunt her.
                 Thoughts macabre and eyes blackened
                 Enchanted the creatures at nightfall.
                 Unstable, neurotic and loaded with madness,

Misunderstanding the plot and the way it was meant to end

What the prologue forgot to mention though
                 Was the likelihood of this Elizabeth character fading away

im overwhlemed with sadness, lizzy. you write well but i think that theres more to this piece that meets the uneducated eye...you HAVE to email me sumtime soon.

punkrockerrobin
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Sparks, NV
15 posted 2001-08-08 01:39 AM


oh no you don't leave passions! *ties you down to a chair* ok now you stay right there!
hehe
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
16 posted 2001-08-08 01:44 AM


Liz, I loved the poem and thought you did a great job, but dislike the fact of you leaving. You are a part of the soul of Passions. It sucks, frankly.
I hope to see you reconsider and pop in sometimes.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away
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17 posted 2001-08-08 02:21 AM


This was AMAZING... my goodness... EJ... this was absolutely stunning performance of your talent.  I am in awe.  The ending blew me away.  Wowsers, this poem ROCKED in ALL sense of the word.  This is definitely going into the library.

As for it being your last piece...    I can't imagine the forums without you.  Please stop by and say hello every now and then.  I will miss seeing your names on the forum pages TONS.  *hugs*

I'll miss you... but this was a fantastic poem.  One to be VERY proud of.  Bye bye, EJ!  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

punkrockerrobin
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18 posted 2001-08-08 02:24 AM


you guys shes not going anywhere member cus i tied her to chair so she couldn't leave muhahahahahahaha
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Allan Riverwood
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19 posted 2001-08-08 09:03 PM


Welcome to the void, EJ.
anonymous albert ?
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20 posted 2001-09-06 05:06 PM


*speechless*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
but, I shall speak!...HeHe...this poem was a ".........................."just think of it this way...words just cant express.. ...LOVEd it MORE then words i write *points in the screen below your poem* here...sO imma go now...and will hold my breath till your next masterpiece..

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Isabel Galaxia
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since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

21 posted 2001-09-06 09:19 PM


That was great, and long.
Last piece for Passions..??
Bel

anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
22 posted 2001-09-07 02:27 AM


Everyone, thank you very much for your comments.

Bel, that isn't the last piece. Notice the date it was written. I've been back for a while.  

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

anonymous albert ?
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23 posted 2001-09-07 03:01 AM


..Hell yES!..
Acies
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Twilight Zone
24 posted 2001-09-20 02:16 PM




"Here she cried and wished the night away
And to have a conversation with the stars."

my favorite lines

You know, I'm always here to talk to  
*hugs*  
be strong

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma

punkrockerrobin
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25 posted 2001-09-21 12:21 PM


great poem very well written.
robin

bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura,andrea,jessa and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha

anonymous albert ?
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26 posted 2001-09-21 02:24 AM


Tis Sunshine  
...just HAD to read it, reply..*ahem* again...heheh.

well, i think someday you will get recognition for your amazing writing ability...(not including pip. but, through all poetry readers)

...this is deeply sad yet heartfelt in the sincerest way...shows the writers emotion VERY straight-foward, as the world does to us in such ways HARSH circumstances...fictionous?, maybe not...though your story telling in this piece is out of this world...*astonished*...you written a piece that is a treasure of your talent...LOVED what you have shared. & ALWAYS smile cause nothing can take away that! ok, Elizabeth!  


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-21-2001).]

anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
27 posted 2001-09-21 11:32 AM


You're gorgeous, Sunshine  

"Hi there, can I relay a sonnet your way?"
"Go away"
"Come on"
*dials the police*
"Alright!..."

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