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Teen Poetry #5

Love is all you need, Meg

samt
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 52
Brisbane

0 posted 2001-08-06 04:39 AM

Love is such a journey
thy heart speaks to me
I ask where does it lead old man
he speaks purely
bliss ist thy name
do not dare to call
as shivers run down my spine
I say where does it lead my friend
he whispers to my ear
you are young my man
your question is your answer
your journey will end on the single day
you build your pyramid in the sea
when the salt and sand permit
the waves will set you free

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

1 posted 2001-08-06 12:34 PM

Wow Sam!
This is VERY well written. The rhythm/flow was incredible. And the words you chose were greta. I loved the last line. Great write here!!!

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 08-08-2001).]

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-08 01:31 AM

I really liked the ending here. The part where the man whispered into your ear was awesome. I enjoyed this very much, Sam! Such sweet words... I haven't seen you around much, but I hope to see more replies and posts soon!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-08-08 04:23 PM

I liked this one here. You really wrote a fine poem here. Looking forward to more

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

4 posted 2001-08-13 03:43 AM

Your poem is realy good i really lik it keep up the awsome wrok.
Lauren

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2001-09-09 02:40 AM

sam-
   Wow!  This is excellent!
   Very thoughtful and verse, and
   wonderfully penned!
   Enjoyed!

   *smiles*
   ~vicky

"...a heartbeat in every syllable..."
-vlraynes
<a href="http://www.home.earthlink.net/~vraynes/">

samt
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 52
Brisbane

6 posted 2001-10-24 08:34 AM

Thanks guys. Love your comments.

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