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Becoming Me
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Becoming Me |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Desensitized to what I was, the scars, the molds, conformity I turn my head, a backward glance to what I will become A rose that bloomed despite the thorns I once was called, I'll call again the eerie peace which once I knew the peace who's end's begun The comforter, upon my bed so new and crisp, no stain or sin I'll rip it off, and thus unveil the sheets that hold the sun My nakedness will be revealed along with seas of lies and faults Inside her depths, I bathe, transformed into the older one Thx to Marie for writing and inspiring...and thanks, acire, for reminding me.  See you around, peoples..I miss yaSpeak softly and carry a beagle. "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught." ~Edouard Manet [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 08-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great poem I really enjoyed it keep up tha great work I can't wait to read more of your poems. Lauren |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was awesome, Carly... I really liked the last lines of the first and second stanzas. Those lines really stuck out to me... The only critique I would have is to maybe make that last line of the poem a little longer to fit the rest... but that's not too important  I REALLY liked this poem. It's so well written, and the symbolism is awesome. This is a very well done display of the talent you possess. Oh, and you're welcome for the motivation Always my pleasure!  Beautiful work. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
you write so well, Carly...this was awesome!...i REALLY liked how you discibed and written throughout this piece...wow. if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
This is a nise poem. I couldnt quiet understand it in places but i liked it all the same. I like your pic too! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice to see you come back to post a poem, Carly. I really like this. It's simple yet so in depth at the same time. "A rose that bloomed despite the thorns I once was called, I'll call again the eerie peace which once I knew the peace who's end's begun" Those lines kick ass, Carly. Be proud because it is heading into the library. ~AF~ "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this one. The symbolism was great. And I really liked the second verse. Thanks for the great read Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Wow...This was truly sensational, I loved the emotion and the way it metaphorically showed a short journey through a sample of your life. The tone was excellent. Interesting, intriguing and inspiring!!  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Damn E.J.- She got my favorite part.  HeHeHe- I really liked that stanza too.  The whole poem was excellent. [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 08-07-2001).] |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I echo Jesa and EJ... and I thought this was overall very well done. Kudos to you and the ones who inspired you!! Loved it Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
Hey Carly, I really like this post it kind off reminds me of puberty lol. Anyways I enjoyed it and I hope to see you again.  I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This was a beautiful poem, very emotional. I loved it. You do have great deal of talent, and this definitely proves it! |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
again you amaze me carly. what can i say but...WoW! you truly are one of a kind. love ya girl. love, d |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice poem Carly, not my fav by you but still a very good poem. Haven't seen you around lately.....it sucks. Oh well. Hope to see you round!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
hey carlay, glad too see you decided to post this. i love this piece. its going into my library. hope you get back to writing. *hugs* love you Blood Moon |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey girl! omg i thought you were my friend jen for a min lol! great poem. robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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sean mani Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27 |
hey...man this was some great poem. It seems there is some troubling atmosphere around you...i dotn know what to say exept that it was a great poem to read...it seems u are in a journey or somethin...sounds weird doesn't it? well cya...continue ur write...its good.. sean |
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