Teen Poetry #5 |
The nothing |
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Silence fills this empty room Tears fall slowly to the floor Mangled thoughts cloud my head All I have felt Once was so strong Now just hidden Shielded by the murky depths Pain and anger Not what I fear Just this deadly indifference And my blackened heart |
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© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Sounds like "The Never Ending Story" thing is going on with your soul. Good luck with that.....nice poem I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this one, Jenn. This poem is very powerful in it's simplicity. I enjoyed it... Nicely done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I agree with Dopey. But I like the images that you created here, and even though it's short and simple, it's very strong and I like that. Thanks for sharing. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wow, this would have to be one of the darkest pieces I have read from you Jenn. "All I have felt Once was so strong Now just hidden Shielded by the murky depths" That does NOT sound good. We'll talk later on. Keep your head up, alright. ~AF~ Q:What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer? |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey Red, this was a good poem....Keep yo head up, things will be all right...I've got the sudden urge to scuba dive in the carribean... ~Carly Speak softly and carry a beagle. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
jenn, wow...such deep emotions...i loved this piece...cause i can see the depth of pain and sadness in it...VERY dark...exactly why...i can relate maybe not the situation whatever your going through, which i hope your doing ok...but the emotions...keep your head up. if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
This Poem struck me as being more sad then "dark" as everybody else puts it. I hope you're not feeling like this in real life! |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Nah... I don't feel like this anymore. Can't say as I haven't ever, tho. Thanks for everyone's replies...You guys are the best I'll be OK. Jenn |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
this is a nice piece. Very sad though. I love the last 3 lines "Not what I fear Just this deadly indifference And my blackened heart" This was a very powerful poem Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hi Jenn! I know I'm late, please, have mercy. ANYWAY! I'll start by stating the obvious...Jenn, this is very dark and sad. Filled with so much emotion. "Once was so strong Now just hidden" Loved thos elines. I know how ya feel. Great write here! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Definately sad... The idea i got from the title... Very very nice post though!~!~!~! Good work... i hope you get happier soon... ALLIE |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Wow....i loved this. It was so powerful and your words were so expressive. Excellent job... |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Very well expressed emotions...short but very to the point. Great write! ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
Great Emotions! very well put together...I like your writting. --lili |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
I just have to agree with everyone else here. short but yet very good. I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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