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Teen Poetry #5
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bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54


0 posted 2001-08-03 05:08 PM



inside the metal doors
leaves a key to the amaze
because its speed and good looks
will put you in a daze

it usually has 6 windows
it is made out of metal
and the best part is
you dont have to petal

it takes you places real fast
no blading, biking, or walking
the engine is quite quiet
so you can hear the person talking

this thing is my pride and joy
it sure will take me far
because see the thing im talking about
is my good old fashioned car


well that was fun lol


[This message has been edited by bOoGaSuGa (edited 08-03-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 bOoGaSuGa - All Rights Reserved
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
1 posted 2001-08-03 05:15 PM


Yes, yes it was fun.  

You did well on this one, although sometimes I felt that you were a little desperate on rhymes (second stanza...petal thing...although i think it's spelled pedal...i'm being picky again...) I also felt the flow was a little rocky, but no matter...
I hope to see more from you! Keep writing!  

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-08-03 06:22 PM


I thought you did nicely here! I liked it.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-08-04 02:17 AM


HeHe- Very charming lil write here. I liked it.  
bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

4 posted 2001-08-04 03:07 AM


thanks  
bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

5 posted 2001-08-04 03:17 AM


id like to congratulate myself on 30 posts!!!! LOL
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-08-05 12:00 PM


Congrats for 30 posts!  
I really like this one   Nice work.  It was fun   A good read.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-08-06 02:45 AM


Well it says 53 there, so YAY FOR YOUR 53 POSTS!! lol

This was very cute. Cars are nice little things, aren't they?  

~AF~

"Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale


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