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Teen Poetry #5
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bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54


0 posted 2001-08-03 02:34 AM


when mommy went away last night
she left us in the cold
with nothing left for us to eat
but sour milk, and bread with mold

she put us at the bottom
and left us for her man
he didnt want us around
so she turned her back and ran

for many years we were on our own
because she left us in the dirt
i wish she put me up for adoption
so there wouldnt be this hurt.

and now as the years have passed
i have let these thing just be
but now she needs someone to help her
and that person will not be me

the time is speeding by
its august, its june, its may
when she needs someone to help her it wont be me
cause like her i will have ran away.


THAT WAS REALLY REALLY BAD DONT LAUGH AT IT IT WAS MY FIRST POEM IN LIKE 2 YEARS!!!!

© Copyright 2001 bOoGaSuGa - All Rights Reserved
bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

1 posted 2001-08-03 02:35 AM


that was embarassing lol

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
2 posted 2001-08-03 02:36 AM


babe that was cute! and very emotionally filled.
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-08-03 02:47 AM


Welcome to Passions!!

For starters, don't ever be embarassed about sharing your poetry with us. The best thing in this place is that you are able to share your work and to share your opinions on others.
It is a really sad first post but at least you have enough strength to not help your mother after she left you. So many people run back to help. She did it to you. Do it back.
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading many more of your posts AND replies.  

~AF~

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams

bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

4 posted 2001-08-03 02:51 AM


wow ppl reply pretty fast lol
thanks, its not a true story or anything i got the idea from a friend and hopefully he WILL do the lil end part cause i cant stand his cokehead mom!  

bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

5 posted 2001-08-03 03:12 AM


more critique plz lol

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
6 posted 2001-08-03 03:25 AM


scott don't rush ppl! grrrrrr! i'll beat ya up lata hunny bunny!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha ok pplz that read this scott is afriend of mine hes like a bif brother to me. nothin else lol!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

7 posted 2001-08-03 03:26 AM


lol @ bif thanks robin
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-08-03 04:09 AM


Welcome to Passions!
I thought this was a pretty serious poem. It really discusses something that people go through a lot......some parents just disregard their children completely. Even though this was not a personal experience it's good to see you delve within that situation. I enjoyed your first post and hope to see more.

Check your e-mail for a special message!
Dopey_Dope/Moderator

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
9 posted 2001-08-03 09:20 AM


Sorry I'm late replying...I was out for the evening. But I'm here now! Be happy! HaHa
First off...
   WELCOME TO PIP!  
Secondly-This isn't bad at all, silly.   A very serious write, indeed. I know alot of people that have had this, and situations similar to this, happen to them. It's very traumatizing. Hey to be honest- If I was left like that, I wouldn't go back to help the person either. ANYWAY- I liked this alot. I hope to see you psting/replying more very soon! Great write!

Heavens Tears
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since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

10 posted 2001-08-03 03:18 PM


This was not bad at all.  I really enjoyed it.  It was very emotional, which made it even better.  Great job, and welcome to Passions!
bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

11 posted 2001-08-03 04:54 PM


thanks and thanks for the card dopey dope  
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
12 posted 2001-08-04 06:30 PM


This is very sad.... I really enjoyed this.  Nicely done.. Welcome to Passions!  I really hope you like it here.  Very nicely written first post. I look forward to seeing more posts and replies from you.  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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