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Mistake
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Mistake |
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WHiTePoNY Junior Member
since 2001-06-17
Posts 13South London. UK |
FOR SHE IS THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT I MUST NOT TASTE. FOR HER I WOULD BUY A DRESS SILK AND LACED. MY FEELINGS FOR A GIRL I LOVE ARE MISPLACED. AND I GIVE TO YOU MY LOVE DISCRGACED. "Push back the square |
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| © Copyright 2001 Daniel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I like this one alot...I'm not sure if I'm fond of the caps yet though- I'm still trying to decide. But the words- wow. It was short but powerful. Thanks for the read! |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Hmm...well, I'm not sure on my stand on this one. I like the powerful emotion behind it...the all caps definitely portrays the emotion well. I like the poem..but at the same time, it seems to be missing something. I dunno..maybe it's just me. A great one overall though...definitely some powerful emotion there. -Kosetsu Of all the things that I confess, |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
This was simple yet it got your point across. Some of the rhyming seemed a little stressed though... Good write overall though  What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Wow... so strong for such a short poem... however i agree about the caps (only cause i have a thing against them!lol) Nice post, ALLIE %% |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I like this. It read well but the message was also very simple. It is a shame about your love though. Don't always hold your love disgraced. ~AF~ "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Awesome work....so short yet so deep. I really liked this.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
short yet sweet i really did like it though! "I have no never-again, I have no always" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I liked this, Daniel, but I think you could add on to what's there. Make another stanza... I enjoyed this, though. Nicely done!--Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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