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Teen Poetry #5
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Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2001-07-31 12:45 PM


You don't know what possesses my heart
To have such wicked dreams
Nor do you know how my intution courses through my veins
Each time someone mentions your intoxicating name
Nor you will ever know how my heart used to rip at the seams
Just by dreaming the most sweetest yet dangerous dream
You don't know how my body aches just for you
Nor do you know all the pain I hold for you
Nor will you ever know how you brought my soul to it knees
Once you whispered out to me those words of sincerity
I swore I closed the door to your memory
But I guess I never knew
That my heart was in love with you


"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (edited 07-31-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-31 10:56 PM


The rhyme scheme was broken- but it worked! The flow was wonderful! I liked htis alot. I thought you expressed yoru feelings wonderfully. The last line was perfect! More I say!
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-08-01 02:26 AM


you written this piece through-out as a not far ago memory...that is what it seemed to me as i was reading it...i liked it.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
3 posted 2001-08-01 02:32 AM


Nor will you ever know how you brought my soul to it knees
Once you whispered out to me those words of sincerity
I swore I closed the door to your memory
But I guess I never knew
That my heart was in love with you

To me the ending was mucg stronger than the beginning. It hit me right at the end.   Wonderful write here...  

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-08-03 04:48 PM


I enjoyed the poem. I haven't seen you around in a while! I enjoyed this piece.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-08-04 06:17 PM


Good to see you posting again!  I really liked this one... Nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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