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Teen Poetry #5
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lilibeelee
Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143


0 posted 2001-07-30 12:52 PM



I want my voice to be heard but you take it away
Your mind games and stupidity you think is okay

I want to succeed but you took that too
Iam who Iam because of what you do

Your doubts of how I wont make it how i wont survive
My soul is now gone, dead not alive

Always telling me what you expect and what you need
Iam tired of you and your pointless greed

I want to be me I dont want to be you
Iam who Iam because of what you do

You make me feel worthless so nimble so dumb
You make me feel like this, and you think it's all fun

I want to get beynond what you think and be who iam
Iam tired of you Iam tired of them

Iam my own person, its all I can be
Iam my own person, Iam me

So stop your doubting, I have changed can't you see?
Iam different, Please forgive me for being me

© Copyright 2001 Lisa - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-30 02:09 PM


Hope everything is okay with you.  
I liked this alot. You captured your feelings and thoughts very well.
Don't apologise for who you are though...Maybe for things you have done, but not you-as a person.
Thanks for the read though- It flowed pretty well, the rhyme scheme was done well also.  

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-07-30 02:26 PM


You shouldn't be sorry for who you are. I enjoyed this poem. You did well on it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-08-04 02:19 AM


I hope all is well....

I really enjoyed this.  Couplets were perfect for the poem.  Your emotiosn were portrayed very clearly, and that made the poem powerful.  Nicely done.

Keep your head up   Stay strong.  And SMILE!  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

bOoGaSuGa
Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54

4 posted 2001-08-04 03:10 AM


nice poem with good expression
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