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Kaitou (Post #49!)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Kaitou (Post #49!) |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
This one's a really long poem, even for me... ^^ So if you don't like long poems, no need to read this one. Last post as a junior member, so after this one, I'm a full-fledged member. ^_^ Sugoi, ne? *sniffles* Gonna miss being a junior member... In an case, this one's slightly different from my other poems since it uses a different method of inspiration, so all comments regarding the way the poem flows/echoes are appreciated. ^_^ Also, if you have any other sort of comments, they're appreciated as well. Critiques well-appreciated, so don't be afraid to say something negative 'bout the poem... - holatuwol *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Kaitou July 26, 2001 It's hard to recall emotions sealed away, Protected, hidden away from this world's sight... Harder still to repress these feelings If they seek to come into being, to enter this world's light. Do you wish to repress them or recall them? That's a question that many a person tends to ask... Deep inside, you fear the pain they cause and wish to repress them... But if not recalled, they'll boil up inside you and shatter you like a breaking flask. And you decide now, to uncork that bubbling vial, So that the pain of repression pains you no longer... You wish to gain strength from it, it seems... After all... what does not kill you, it is said, will make you stronger. Contained emotions steadily breaking from inside, Shattering your soul into tiny little pieces, barely seen... Making its mark with your heart's warm, salty blood, And after making said mark, for some reason licking it clean. It doesn't want you to remember at all The way these feelings once made you feel... It wants you to forget all the pain, all the suffering, So that once again these feelings can enter this world and become real. But you remember exactly how it somehow feels, All the pain and the suffering has scarred you far too deep... Filling you with yearning to end the suffering, So much so that you whimper softly as the nightmares torture your restless sleep. Unconditional love is said to last for lifetimes on end... But, true eternal love, it is said, is the love that the other will not return... Suffer more, filled with painful, half-repressed yearning For a quiet, unspoken love which, inside you, continues to burn. Remember everything there is to remember about your love, All the different ways that it somehow made you smile... Remember the way your heart seemed to race as they were near, And... remember how that love was never returned, all the while. Does the pain continue to hurt you once released? Is the pain greater now, or greater when it was contained? Greater now, you say... do you regret your decision to release it? Do you wish that your feelings of love, within you, remained? Look at me, this face that's sealed in this mirror, And look at the way the tears sting the wound upon your cheek... Remember that wound? That wound that a snap of her wrist gave you... The way it made your knees crumble, and makes your heart, at the memory, feel oh so weak. Looking deep into the mirrors surface, Vanish into a void filled with boundless emotion, And drown yourself there, filled with your eternal agony, Drown yourself deep under the crashing waves of the ocean. At that beckoning, you steadily close your eyes, Bringing from the maelstrom of your tortured memory a shining mirage... And your weakened tear-stained begins to steadily vanish Steadily replaced... by that of a pretty young visage... This face is one which matches that of ultimate perfection, One whose equal I have perhaps never seen ever in my entire life... So this is the person that you gave your unconditional love to, The one you have chosen... at love's return, perhaps... maybe, your cherished wife. Looking deep into her heart, it's filled with so much love... No wonder, I say, there was absolutely no room for a male... You had no chance to begin with; you were a fool to begin to love, Or to even long to have that love returned... that longing that has made you frail. But would you like me to do you a little justice tonight? Now that she is here... perhaps I shall tell her the story of you. Tell her what you utter quietly in your dreams, as I sit here and watch, The story of your longing... yes, telling her that... that is what I will do. But it is difficult to do so when starying deep in her eyes, Those eyes which entranced you once, and entrance me now... I'm not sure what's going on, nor what magic lays in those beautiful eyes... Is there a secret to this enticement...? How does she enchant me? How...? But I should ignore this magic that she somehow possesses, And tell her your story... now that I have her before me. Perhaps the words that this mirror image of you speaks Will clean that wound upon your cheek... and one day soon, set your heart free. Smiling softly, I hold still her eyes, And begin now the story which you hold in your mind... The words seem to come easily as I begin speaking to her, For I am not scrambling for words... you, yourself, are engaging in that find. I have a memory of you, dear lady, that was whispered in that man's sleep... A pretty little memory that I'd really like to tell you tonight. Listen to me very carefully, and listen to me very well, For you have to know this... the truth... and you have to know it right. Do you remember when you were no more than five years of age, When you had that dance recital to perform... standing before a giant crowd. Do you remember the tears that fell from your eyes As you cried in fear at the number of people... and how they laughed at your tears out loud? Do you remember a young boy that then came up by your side, Perhaps five and a half years old... his piano recital had that evening already passed. And he lead you gracefully to the center of the stage so that you could begin, And you danced the dance as it was meant to be... slow at times, other times fast. Do you remember embracing him tightly after your performance, Thanking him with teardrops for the fact that he was there by your side? Did you know how much that moment has meant to him... somehow... How much it tears at him, even now, from deep inside? No... then, do you remember a quiet little stormy night Which would have been lit by the moon, if its rays could shine through? I'm sure you remember it... for 'twas a memorable night, But if you do not... I suppose this reminder will make it so that you truly do. You were a little younger then... perhaps no more than fifteen years old, Playing in the rain, as little children often tend to play... Jumping from puddle to puddle, making splashing sounds as you landed, You began to wander from the path... following the falling raindrops, you began to stray. Do you remember meeting a young boy as you wandered off the path, That same boy with a shining smile to match your glee as you played in the rain? Do you remember that moment... maybe you do, maybe you do not... But that moment is where I know began that man's legacy of emotional pain. That very moment where you both agreed to chase the raindrops, Racing them in their landings, leaping and swaying to and fro... Had you any idea that this young boy desired to take this game further, And meet the raindrops as they touched your lips... of this, did you know? How about I take you to another memory much closer to home, One that occurred a few months ago... around the fourth of July. This is a special moment, it seems, that lingers in that boy's tortured memory, The reason it tortures him is unknown to me... I wish I knew why. Perhaps you can explain this single moment to me, That moment as fireworks seemed to challenge the brightness of the stars... Far away from the image of civilization... very far away, So far distant that you could not hear the sounds of speeding cars. And do you remember the moment where you caught his eyes Not watching the skies, but watching the moonlight on the water shimmer? Did you notice that he had been watching you closely before? For, compared to your eyes, he found the fireworks so much dimmer? Do you know the longing that tears apart his heart...? Even if you didn't... what do you think now that you know it is there? Is it truly virtuous to leave his love unreturned... Do you think the fact that you've hurt him so is even slightly fair? Perhaps you do not know what to truly think... After all, his heart's been irrepairably shattered by the slap of your hand... If you could bring yourself to do that, despite all the longing in his heart, I don't think you truly could, his feelings, ever understand. How about we bring you back to that very moment When the sting of your hand brought tears to his eyes? Yes... let us bring you back to that torturous moment So that you can see the truth that is hidden between your deluded lies. From where do you want me to begin this sad story? "There's something I need to tell you," is how the moment began. Do you remember the setting that this memory was created in? It was in the kitchen of the home where you live together... can you remember it? You can. "What is it?" your soft voice asked of him once... And once again it was asked as he fell silent and closed his heart. "Then stop wasting my time..." is how you continued that moment, Do you know how those words hurt? They pierced him like a flaming arrow, a poisoned dart. "Oh... this is a waste of time for you?" he quietly asked, And you gave him a nod of your head... an affirmative reply. "I'm sorry I wasted your time..." he continued softly, unsure of what to say... The poison from your dart was striking him... he was beginning to cry. You grew agitated at the thought of a man crying, did you not? You grabbed him by the collar, impatient with his falling tears, And you attempted to slap a little bit of sense into him, To get him to stop crying... and then confess all of his fears. But did you know how long the emotions within him had been hurting then? Do you have ANY idea how much torture he had to endure...? All because of some stupid, damned, evil feelings boiling within him... All because you had, in your eyes, in your smile, too much allure... Broken now... the legacy may hopefully one day soon end, All the pain and the suffering that I have to watch every single day... You know what? I'm starting to get sick and tired of your face... Vanish now from my sight... do you hear me? GO AWAY! Wait... before you go... I want to tell you something, That I have heard, and after reminiscing with you... I began to understand. Before you vanish... give me the moment you failed to give him, Just give me that... for that is all that I truly demand. They say, fear the charm that lingers in a young woman's eyes, Because that seductive charm is one of which she is not aware... If you should succumb the warmth that is found deep in those pearl-like orbs, You will find your heart shattered as your gaze transforms to a steady stare... A stare filled with feelings and emotion which stays unreturned, As she continues to be oblivious to everything which you try to give... Fear it, fear the power that lurks within those crystal-clear eyes, For as your steady stare continues, you will steadily lose all reason to live... People say that one should fear the heartache caused by a pretty face... And you really do have one of the prettiest faces that I have ever known. Fear the pretty faces, fear those eyes which appear to be filled with warmth, For you know not if it's true... for their hearts may be as cold as ice, as hard as stone. I have also heard people say that the more beautiful the young lady, The more skillful she is in deception, in bending that which is true... And I believe they are right, for I cannot imagine another in this world Who is as skillful a master of deception, as talented a thief of hearts... as you. |
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| © Copyright 2001 MinhChau Dang - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
ME FIRST! ME FIRST! *calms down* Wow...that WAS long, but it was good. Maybe not your best, but it was good none the less! You had a lot to say...  And now that you'll soon be a member, I wish you all the best, and I expect to see more of your work, MC. LOTS of it. Or else...MUAHAHA...*silence*Uh...  Can't wait to see your next piece!  -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I have these huge replies in yer other poems and I'd just like to know if yer reading them haha, cuz i get no feedback  I TRY SO HARD!So this one will be short until i at least know you read them hehe. GOOD POEM!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow, that was long. But long is good...heheh `good work. nice flow and imagery. keep it up. Regina |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
just adding this to my library... i really enjoyed this Mc. i was listening to 'for my fallen angel' by my dying bride while i read it. they went perfectly together. i enjoyed this Mc. great job. [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 08-08-2001).] |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
tiffers i see you! so she is alive! anyway great poem i really liked it. robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
For English Lit class we're supposed to read a novel over the summer. I wonder if this would count. Seriously though, this was epic. Therefore length didn't bother me all that much. It read nicely, like an old faerie tale, simply because it was written not in any sort of meter or to any real scheme, just that it had a rhyme every now and then. This was just a compliment to the story of the poem. It read through very nice. The way you worded this in many places, the similies and metaphors you used were marvelous. You always impress me, MC. Great work on this one. Yours, ~Allan Blood Moon |
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