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Teen Poetry #5
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Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97


0 posted 2001-07-26 09:29 PM


I'm sorry momma
I only meant to be the best
I never meant to hurt
or disappoint you
I only wanted us to be
happy

I cried at night
for you momma,
for me,
for us,
and momma
I'm still crying

My only desire
is to live a normal
teenage life
minus the family problems
and whateva other
drama

Momma,
I wish I understood
you
I wish you understood
me

I wait for the day
when we can talk
I mean really talk
about our feelings
and things I've
hidden for so long

I wish you'd love me
momma hold me,
hug me,
and listen to your baby
listen to me momma


© Copyright 2001 Trina - All Rights Reserved
Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
1 posted 2001-07-26 09:42 PM


Trina - That brought chill-bumps up on me. I don't know what else to say... It hit home with me in the most unusal way possible. It was simply awesome...

What don't kill you can only make you stronger...

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
2 posted 2001-07-26 09:46 PM


Wow...simply..wow. There's so much emotion behind this, my words can't describe it. It sounds like my relationship with my father (though that is turning out to be better..and he will listen to me on some things). I believe this is the first I've read of you..and I'm greatly impressed.

You expressed the longing you have for your mother's acceptance perfectly. Definitely a keeper. This is going in my library.

Keep it up, hope things get better with the situation.
-Kosetsu

"Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
3 posted 2001-07-26 09:56 PM


i agree with Kosetsu. A lot of emotion here.  It made the poem very intense. Good job.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
4 posted 2001-07-26 10:15 PM


Very intense emotional writing here. I wish the best for you.
JBaker515
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Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
5 posted 2001-07-27 12:53 PM


WOW..
the emotion poured into this was great..
TOugh situation, but you did a great job here!!
LOVED IT!!

~Jeff~

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."



Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-07-27 01:13 AM


Well done here! This poem was so full of raw emotion. It really hit me hard. I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-07-27 05:08 AM


I wish you'd love me
momma hold me,
hug me,
and listen to your baby
listen to me momma

this is sooo sad...its simple too ..and yet in its simplicity it has a power within it to make shivers run rampid up and down my spine....i know the situation..i can relate to it a lot....thanks for the read i enjoyed it a lot

"I hope my mum and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
Say bad words that make me wanna cry"
E

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
8 posted 2001-07-28 11:48 AM


What a heart wrenching piece.  
This made me so sad to read. I hope for you that this situation improves between you and your mother.
Thank you for sharing this piece.

~AF~

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-07-28 11:59 AM


This was such a sad piece!!!! Awww!!! I dont even know what to say about it...definately heart wrenching and full of emotion and sadness...i loved it hun  
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
10 posted 2001-07-28 01:21 PM


Hey,

Not much left to say, I think these guys have covered most all I was going to say. But I do want to say that this is a very powerful poem, and I did enjoy reading it. But yes there is a “But” I think it could use a bit of touching up here and there to make even better than it already is. Until your next poem

            -- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97

11 posted 2001-07-28 03:55 PM


Thank you all for your comments, I'm glad my simple writing can still manage to attract some people to read my work and want to read more. Thank you very much for reading and responding. I hope things get better for me and my mother too. Until my next poem....

Take care,

Trina

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
12 posted 2001-07-28 06:04 PM


Awww... I hope things get better for you and your mom. But this is a great poem.... Can't wait to read more.

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

~Dark Angel~
New Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 5

13 posted 2001-07-29 12:41 PM


I really like dis poem, it's short but it still says alot, and it kinda relates to me so that's why i like it even more !!! Good work very simple n very moving!
Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97

14 posted 2001-07-29 03:38 PM


Thank you very much, I'm glad you took time out to read my poem and I'm sorry if you can relate in any way at all to this.

Take care,

Trina

levon6618
Junior Member
since 2001-07-29
Posts 10

15 posted 2001-07-29 06:58 PM


This is a great write.  I can relate to it, only in my situation, I am the one who is holding back from my mom.  I don't know why I hold back from someone who loves me as much as she does.  Yet it seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of the emotional block that I have put up between my mother and I.  I apologize for getting personal again, but this poem really made me think about our relationship.  Again, a great write.
Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97

16 posted 2001-07-29 07:03 PM


Thanx, I'm glad you liked my poem and I'm sorry about your situation. I don't mind when you get personal because I feel good if my writing can make a person wanna spill their guts about how they relate or how they feel about the situation I wrote about.

Take care,

Trina

Wicced_Witch
Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 110
Clarksville, TN, USA
17 posted 2001-07-30 12:33 PM


Very emotional poem.  Reminds me so much of my relationship with my own mother.  Hope things get better for you two...good luck.
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
18 posted 2001-07-30 11:43 AM


This was  very good. filled with uncut emotion. keep it up.

Regina

Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97

19 posted 2001-07-30 04:45 PM


Thanx Ina and Wicced Witch, I hope things get better with you and your mother too Wicced.

Take care,

Trina

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
20 posted 2001-08-04 01:53 PM


This left me in awe... this is a very honest poem.  You poured yourself into this, and it shows.  Very beautiful work... The desperation makes the poem very powerful.. wow.  I really enjoyed this.  nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Trina
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 97

21 posted 2001-08-04 03:33 PM


Thanx, I'm really glad you liked it. I'm happy to say me and my mother are getting better with the communication problem. Thanx for reading

Take care,

Trina

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