navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Fill Me With Belief...
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Fill Me With Belief... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2002-04-02 08:40 PM


Goodmorning from Denmark, everyone!!
Well, I guess it's not morning for you yet
I just finished writing this one, it has taken me a couple of days to finish, but now it's all done.
please critique, thanks!!!

The song is written to my father, 'cause I still suffer alot of loss, and there's still an empty space where he used to be, so it's kind of a story, where I'm asking him to tell me that everything's gonna be alright at some point.

Best Wishes,

Brian.


"Fill me with belief"
© 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved

V1:
I'm on the edge of a break down.
Been crying since tear one inside.
You left and sadness moved to town.
Swear I hear you whisper at night.

L:
Tell me the stories,
That you used to fill my head with.
And ease my worries,
Tell me I can over come this...

C:
Fill me with belief,
'Bout a happy life.
One word's all I need,
A spark of a sign.
So that I can calm,
This cold, blurry storm.
Crawl out of the dark,
And open my heart.
I'm begging you please,
Fill me with belief...

V2:
I look up with prayers in my eyes.
If you hear this please answer me.
Twist and turn to much pain inside.
Give me something to help me breathe...

Re-L:

Re-C: (2x)

V3:
I'm blinded by my restless tears.
Photoalbum's stuck in my mind.
I have been racing for years.
But still I see no finish line...

Re-C:
(untill fade)


© Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
1 posted 2002-04-02 11:42 PM


i rarely ever see lyrics around here.  thanks for a change of scenery.

lyrics are always so different from poetry and i like these ones.

particularly the last line.  'i've been racing for years - but still i see no finish line'.

however you can't really get the full effect unless you listen to the music as well.

that's the tricky thing about lyrics.  it all has to go hand in hand.

thanks for the read though.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2002-04-03 01:40 AM


Lyrics are a nice change not many people post them up around here. I'd love to be able to write a song...you are very lucky you have the talent to I liked it a lot and keep em coming!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419

3 posted 2002-04-03 05:11 AM


Hi Jen & xShUgArHiGhx,
Thanks a lot, for the read and comment, well I guess you're right, you can't really see the whole picture without the music....But thanks again...

Best Wishes,

Brian.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Fill Me With Belief...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary