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Teen Poetry #5
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-07-25 10:34 PM


I am returning with the only thing I've successfully written in two weeks.  This is about a really cool person I met recently, but the only problem is she lives about 2 hours away.
Tell me what you think
------------------------
The Dusty Road

Skips along a dusty dirt road
Bring footsteps and memories
Back to my mindful load
Was I alone among the clapping birds
The dying trees?

My girl, she has a house on this road
A little farther past sullen horizon
Somewhere on this road...
Is her house painted red and cotton
behind the current laison.

I look down upon myself a bird's eye
I can find myself staring back
Into dust through to the sky.
Were there any gifts given for you
In my tattered baggage and soulful sack?

I'm crossing paths with many a border
Painted fences travelling beside me
But no conversation is in order.
They tell me with rots and molds
That upwards the dusty road is a better place to be.

My girl's home can sleep for the times I pause
She can sleep in the plain trees
Plain trees that scratch me with Autumn claws
I can brush them away with ease
I can blow the dust with ease
And write her name with sand
Only to alter the existence by my hand
Legs carry no more
I feel rushed by a breeze
Blown by the green trees
I can go no more
Her house is too far away...

I may to wish to send my heart on a gust
Alas! To have one's love, taken in with the dust.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-07-26 03:15 AM


Talk about a master of couplets! Simply amazing ending. I truly love your poems. Awesome job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
2 posted 2001-07-26 09:03 AM


Really nice poem,
ALSO nice to see an aussie here lol, im from sydney myself  
Nice read fozzyozzy,

ALLIE

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
3 posted 2001-07-26 09:04 AM


*allie looks embarressed*

just realised you're from america

WOOPS SORRY

ALLIE

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-07-30 11:37 PM


This poem is awesome... it really shows your feelings for this person.  Looks like somebody's falling!  I really liked the imagery in this whole piece.  The wording is very professional, and adds to be descriptions... VERY nice work here, Foz!  I REALLY enjoyed this one.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-08-01 02:53 AM


i liked this one...format was well written...enjoyed.

"if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry-

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
6 posted 2001-08-01 02:55 AM


This was great!  It flowed very well and and the format fit perfectly...excellent piece.
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

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