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mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2001-07-24 03:06 PM

Ok I just wanted to make it clear that this is just a poem about laying in your lover's arms through night in a blanket of comfort and then not wanting to leave when morning came because you knew it meant returning to work or school or whatever... nothing more and nothing extreme. Just had to make that clear so people didn't think i was talking about something else..

A bit of Heaven

Take me to paradise, love,
Where fantasy becomes reality
With every sweet kiss.
Warm flames burn deeply in our hearts
And grow stronger
With each devouring kiss.
Light up the candles
So that they may join
In our night of contentment
And dance their seductive shadows on the wall.
Hold me there, tightly in your arms,
As we caress soft skin
In the flickering candlelight.
While the world lies in darkness,
We rest here in the glistening light.
Moist lips explore each other
As we come together in a loving embrace
With a huge diamond moon
Shining over us.
One night is all I ask for
To spend with you,
So that we may wrap around us
Endless blankets of love.
Curse the morning that shines through our window
With its song of the sun
Bringing us to another reality
Where things must be done.
Just for one night though
Or perhaps forever,
Will you take me
To that fantasy under the moon
And in the flickering candlelight
To touch a bit of heaven
So I can linger there forever?

DarkenedShadow
Member

since 2001-07-23

Posts 114
Kansas

1 posted 2001-07-24 04:36 PM

The felling of two lovers having possible one night together is a nice one to write about and you seem to have mastered it well. I wouldn't have gotten the wrong impression about this poem as you informed, it sounds pure and hearty to me. /Nick/

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

2 posted 2001-07-24 04:51 PM

this is wonderful, the title says it all...great work.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-07-24 07:40 PM

Steph...this was beautiful. Honestly.
The description was breath taking...
An absolute wonderful write here. Be proud of this. I enjoyed it bunches!

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

4 posted 2001-07-25 12:47 PM

Great write here... The description was great. Such a great feeling when you're with the one you love... I liked this piece.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-26 02:13 AM

I thought this was beautiful. Very well written and expressed. I enjoyed this one highly.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

6 posted 2001-07-29 02:49 PM

See sweetie, you get nicer things said about your poems than I do, and you STILL don't believe me when I say your poems are good. :P lil doof

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-08-04 12:48 PM

This was so beautiful! The imagery was awesome all throughout.. wow, this is a very well written poem. Nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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