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angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

0 posted 2001-07-23 04:05 PM

As I sit and look at the stars
I dream of being where you are

I dream of how my life would be
Holding you here close to me

Looking deep into your loving eyes
Seeing a love that can't be disguised

Touching your face with scared hands
But still knowing that you understand

Knowing your love for me is true
I only want to be with you

Every night when I kneel to pray
I dream of being with you someday

I don't think this is the best... but I had a short spell of writer's block.. so ya know..

Kristin

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

1 posted 2001-07-23 08:33 PM

It's not that bad. Actually, I like it a lot. The 2-line stanzas are kind of cool. One or two things I might note are that in a few places you broke away from your rhyme scheme. Maybe fixing that would make it sound a bit better.

-Kosetsu

"Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-07-23 10:54 PM

Actually Kristin I liked this. I thought the rhyming was a nice touch. You expressed your thoughts well.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-07-24 01:28 AM

Great job Muppet baby....I thought you did fine on this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

4 posted 2001-07-25 08:21 AM

Dopey, you need to leave my sister alone.

Kris, this was a great poem

I really liked it!

I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden.
*HUGS ZU*

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

5 posted 2001-07-25 10:05 AM

Good work Kris I really enjoyed the read

Keep up the good work

Zu

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

6 posted 2001-07-25 12:55 PM

Muppet baby? What the...?

One day, one day, Kris. Keep dreaming and it'll happen eventually.

Thanks for sharing.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

7 posted 2001-07-25 02:38 PM

Why did he call me Muppet Baby? Thanx for the replies you guys I appreciate them...

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-07-29 02:43 AM

I really like this, Kris. The use of the couplets was a very good idea... nice work! The flow was overall well done, and the context is very sweet. I'm guessing there's something in the way of you being with him? Who's this about? Heh.. being nosey

Anyway, nice work. I enjoyed this!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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