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Teen Poetry #5
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Picture Book
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Picture Book |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Memories come to mind Gotta have one more look Before I go forever blind. A picture there of you and me Laughing in each other’s hold A smile there for me to see All before you grew so cold. Even though you used my love To make me look the fool I threw my cares up above And became your tool. Flipping through this picture book Memories come to mind I had to have one more look Now I want to go forever blind. ----------------- This one was about an old love failure of mine that I found myself thinking of. There's a bit of symbolism in these words. See if you can figure them out. -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 07-22-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Nice Work!   If there's a such thing as a Genius, then I'm one. If there's no such thing then I don't care... ~John Lennon |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I liked the flow in here...a nice simple piece.  The second last stanza: I think there's a "you" missing... Other than that, great work! You used the picture book well. -Hael Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Ah..thanks for pointing that out Chasing Rain...you're right, it is missing a 'you'. -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Wonderful write, Adam. I liked it alot. The rhyming was a nice touch. |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Adam... I really liked this one. Although it's not my fave...  Good Job!!! *HUGZ* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
You did really well on this one. Hope to see more soon!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
Wow once again you amaze me with your words of power and percision, it may be me but I'm pretty fond of the way you write, it has a kind of honest understanding flow. Kepps me reading and wanting more... /Nick/ |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Well..I guess the reason it's got that kind of flow is because I try to be an honest, understanding guy. Kinda goes with my personality, I guess. Glad ya like my stuff, Nick. -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome read... I didn't quite catch the symbolism, though. Want to explain that to me? The situation seems hard, though. Memories are wonderful things, are they not? Nice work. I enjoyed this quite a lot. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Well..maybe symbolism wasn't the right word. Irony would be more like it. When I wrote this, I was first thinking of the good things about this one relationship I was in a while back. As I thought more on it though, the more I realized that the girl didn't really care about me, and that she was more just playing with me than anything. Thus, near the beginning the poem is more about how I wanted that relationship back..and the end is how I realize I'm better off forgetting it. Which is quite true..because I wouldn't have fallen in love with Jess if I'd stayed in that old relationship...and Jessica's is the best thing about my life. -Kosetsu Of all the things that I confess, |
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levon6618 Junior Member
since 2001-07-29
Posts 10 |
lol. I can relate to this poem also. Have y'all been watching my life and transforming it into words on paper (or on a computer screen, I should say). Great write. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Photos have got to be the worst, expecially when it ended badly... It makes you wonder why they bothered smiling next to you...  But... there are plenty more out there... Very interesting and good post, ALLIE |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Adam, your work continues to amaze me. You should feel very proud of it. Keep writing. Regina If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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