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Teen Poetry #5
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500th post: Solstice
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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500th post: Solstice |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Solstice (originally called Moonlit Waltz) As sun-stroked dust falls from the sky The night awakes throughout the land And as the day begins to die The leaves see rivers bubbling. The world turns slowly in His hand And blue grows darker in the sky The crickets yell,"Strike up the band!" And song begins untroubling. The shadows dance beneath the stars And trees sway gently to the tune Their bark so boldly carved with scars With sleepy leaves still quivering. The wind begins to softly croon Ignite the light within the stars The fallen leaves are thickly strewn To keep the earth from shivering. By light of moon and ray of star The fairies soon come out to dance And on a hill-top high and far The music heard was echoing. The sleeping sun was in a trance And found itself a wandering far To maybe drop in, just by chance To this music beckoning. The sun embraced the world around The light ran down the hilly green Faded night from light surround And music stopped a-playing. Fairies hid, as if but a dream As light came closer to surround The world in blue, or so it seemed While the stalwart trees stopped swaying. The sunlight swelled, the day grew bright The fallen leaves were thickly strewn To calm the darkness from the light While rivers chilled to glistening. The sun began to chant a tune As it bathed the world in light But to the west it saw the moon Who laughed while it was listening. ===== This really isn't my 500th post (it's my 508th), but what the hey...mine's well celebrate the occassion with a little je ne sais quoi, eh?  Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 07-21-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nancy New Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 2 |
wow, that was really beautiful, some real talent here! The mood was amazing and the mental picture that could be created from the words were amazing, keep up the great work! Nancy |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
Awesome piece, thanks for sharing |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
oh WOWOWOWOWOW!!!! *applauds* Congratulations on your 500th post Leah and what a truly fabulous poem to post for it. The imagery was breathtakingly amazing and vivid. If I could find a favourite part in this I would point it out but the entire piece had me locked down and in awe. Definitely going into the library. Thank you for wowing me with this excellent piece. You should be extremely proud of this one. ~AF~ Tearless grief bleeds inwardly. |
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Elusive^ Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18dancing fairy land |
WOW...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean it. wow. this is so beautiful, you've got such talent, and the rhyming, and the imagery just paints this picture my mind..I'm probably rambling, but just to let you know.....keep posting..I mean it. ''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..'' |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
The imagery was amazing. Great work. congrats on the 508th poem. Regina |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Awesome! Simply awesome work! You make me jealous with your original scheme here! The meter and rhyme were constructed marvelously and you obeyed them throughout the whole thing. It sounds and flows like a riddle or a nursery rhyme, which adds a depth of dark to it contrasting to the actual theme of the poem. Incredible! ~Allan Blood Moon |
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DarkSilver Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33Six O'clock High! |
i know I left but I had to post on this. Leah you didn't give any credit to the Tolkien influence on this Poem! Now they think you pulled that meter and style out of your own creative hat. You told me it was Tolkienesque in style. You should tell the others too! |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
right-o geoff...it is tolkien's meter thing...so i salute him. And I do have to apologize for taking more of my share of the credit when really, i shouldn't be getting any of it. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
CONGRATS ON YOUR 500!!!... what an amazing piece...your imagery is beautiful and your written form is wonderful...wow...bye Leah  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great job on your 5ooth! I really enjoyed this piece of work. I thought it was great.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
LEAH!!!!!!! *jumps on leah and give her a HUGE hug* this is a trully BEAUTIFUL piece of poetry girly!!!!  ...i mean everything about it is awesome  ...right from the meter to the wonderfullly vivid imagery..  ..its breathtaking stuff...your work is awesome  !!!! congratualtions on the 500th post miss senior member  cant hardly wait for the next 500!!! "Killer in me is a killer in you, my love |
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Punk Angel Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 66Pennsylvania, US |
NICE!! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
LEAH!  AMAZING work! I LOVE the rhyme scheme you use.. very original.. I am amazed with this piece I just read. I am VERY glad that you found your muse again.. I enjoyed this very much. A library piece.. I loved the images throughout this whole piece. They absolutely blew me away. Wonderful work, Leah.. just awesome. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
What more can I say that everyone else hasn't? *bows to the queen* hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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