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Teen Poetry #5
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Pieces Of A Puzzle
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Pieces Of A Puzzle |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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There are too many memories in my mind, and I'm starting to forget the way it was when you held me, the way you would whisper in my ear, and tell me secrets that no one else knew. There are too many words in my head, of stuff I won't tell you like the way i want to kiss you, the way I want you to hold me in your arms, and just keep me safe for a minute. There are too many dangers in my world, a fear of loosing you that I can't explain, the way you make me better when you tell me that everything's gonna be alright, and that's how everything ends up. There are too many pieces in my puzzle, just a shy young girl, with a heart full of confusion, brown hair and eyes, and chipped blue nailpolish. There will always be too many memories in my mind, and I won't completely forget the way it was when you told me you'd love me forever and a day and I wonder if you still mean that. There will always be too many words in my head, telling me to hold on to what I have, to cling to you and never let go, which is what I want to do, but do you want me? There will always be too many dangers in my world, stuff that I can't explain no matter how hard I try, no matter how much i want to stop it, and I cling to you. There will always be too many pieces in my puzzle, too much i try to shove in there, to many things that won't fit, but that's just what it all is, pieces of a puzzle. Pieces of my puzzle. Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was exploding with emotions. You pleaded i found a sense of desperation. Your poem reminded me of a song i adore, by Bif Naked, "Spaceman" you should try to listen to it... Regina ps hope all is well. |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Wow, this is truly marvelous! I love the stanza with the description of you, especially the chipped blue nail polish line. It's the specific details like that which really make a poem come alive for the reader, it gives it a uniqueness all its own. Good job! "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." [This message has been edited by Saxoness (edited 07-20-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree w/ Saxoness...the "Chipped blue nail polish" line stood out big time for me. Very well written poem, allysa. The while thing is just bubbling over w/ emotion and feeling. And the way you put the last line all alone like that made a very nice effect. Hope to see more soon.  [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-20-2001).] |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Thanks you guys! When I was writing this, I looked down and noticed that my once perfect blue nailpolish had chipped off from playing the guitar. That itself is like a puzzle because there are places were there is blue and places where there isn't blue. anyways, Justin called!!!!  Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is wonderful writing. This is probably one of the best pieces I've read by you. The second stanza was my favorite, but the images you portrayed as a whole was awesome. Nicely done! Each stanza seemed to be better than the one before, and the end was fantastic... library piece!! Nice work.--Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here! I enjoyed this one Allysa!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Allysa, nothing is gonna happen if you only wait and not do anything about it. It'll be hard but talk to him about exactly how you feel. If he like you then good, if not, then go look for someone else who will. good luck. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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