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Teen Poetry #5
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As the hurt starts to win(song)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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As the hurt starts to win(song) |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC 
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I had the song "Pressure" by Staind in my mind when I wrote this.The beat that it has, goes to this song. I know the lines don't match up exactly, but if it was sang to this song, they would. Words would be stretched. Just wanted to let people know so one line didn't look ridiculously long compared to the next. I can feel me start to slip My back feels pain, the cracking whip Held in bondage by my own mind Peaceful escape, I can’t find Lack of control, my insanity Save me someone, my final plea Life unravels, it comes undone Where’s my savior, I need someone Enemy to my own self This pain inside, my mental health Unstable, my state of mind Reality, I just can’t find Chorus: Where was everyone when I needed them No one to talk to as the light grows dim Pain can eat at a man and make him grow thin Emptiness fills my mind and the hurt will finally win My sadness, turns to hate My frustration, I can’t sedate Time to take it to the streets I’ll show this world who they can’t beat All you people need to feel my pain I want to see the blood fall like rain Who are these men, what have I done Why’d you stop me, just having fun These white walls can’t hold me in Can’t control me, I always win What’s this needle, cannot stop this rage My world slows down, just turn the page Chorus: Where was everyone when I needed them No one to talk to as the light grows dim Pain can eat at a man and make him grow thin Emptiness fills my mind and the hurt will finally win "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was amazing Jon. ANd im first to reply. Staindis an awesome band, bought their cd a while ago. YOur poem really worked well with the song. Later dude Regina |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree w/ Ina. Staind rocks. My fav lines were: "My sadness, turns to hate My frustration, I can’t sedate" Not sure why exactly...just for some reason I liked them. Awesome write here, Jon. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Staind is awesome.. lots og songs I'm reading lately inspired by awesome songs and artists. I liked this a lot. It's not the best I've seen from you, but I enjoyed it just the same. Nicely done. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
whos Staind?..  ...hahah just kidding..  ...but this was a well written song...i enjoyed it lots, Jon  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
talk about breaking the cycle im reading this over and over to the song this is TIGHT! awesome |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
staind is the best..and i really really like this song..( wheres my mp3 dude? )...i enjoyed this heaps it had a really nice tune and rhytm in my head when i read it...thanks for sharing |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
great job here keoni. You did well on this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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