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Teen Poetry #5
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Elusive^
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18
dancing fairy land

0 posted 2001-07-19 12:16 PM



Here, my gift
Wreath of black poppies
Adorn your stone head.
A renegade cloud steals
The Sun.
Shiver, trees whisper
Conspiratorially.
We were of no significance
On Earth, ridden with noise
People shouting over another
Craving to be heard.
I sat down, outcast
You drifted on a raucous gale,
Tripped cut your heart
On the knife-edge of my
Tear.
Collapse on bed of permanence
Dry, caked grass.

I lay for last and only time
Under head of black flowers

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

© Copyright 2001 Elusive^ - All Rights Reserved
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
1 posted 2001-07-19 05:00 PM


WHY HASN'T ANYONE COMMENTED ON THIS YET? FOR SHAME!!!! *shakes fist*

Anywho...
This is...awesome. Great imagery here...i especially love the ending.   Incredible. Great work! hope to see more!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-07-19 10:40 PM


LOL @ Leah..

This poem is absolutely beautiful.  The images portrayed are so excellent!  I can't believe this has such few replies... the style and format of the poetry is just excellent.  Creative.. I really enjoyed this!  I look forward to seeing more from you, hopefully soon!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-07-20 12:25 PM


beautiful...i like how you protrayed such images...great job!

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2001-07-20 11:29 AM


wow! This was awesome. Very poewrful, the imagery was strong and poignant.


Regina

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-07-23 08:54 PM


I'm not even going to bother commenting on the imagery....I'll just sound like a broken record. HaHa... SOOoo I'm just giving you a  
I thought this was awesome. Loved it. Hope to see more!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-07-24 04:37 AM


Awesome job on this one! You really wrote an exceptional poem! REALLY nicely done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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