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Teen Poetry #5
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Chance to Breathe(Linkin Park inspired)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Chance to Breathe(Linkin Park inspired) |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733
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Okay first off, this is MUCH like the song "Place for my head" by Linkin Park. I got a copy of the lyrics and tried to make my words fit. I'd like to say that NONE of what I'm posting is taken directly from the song, I checked!! ...... I watch how the sun shines In the bright sky burning in the early dawn The sun doesn’t have mercy assuming The morning deserves this one It makes me think of what you do to me I leave you alone Then rapidly you turn around and stab me Running back for me I’m sick of the hatred Sick of the filth Sick of you acting like I’m less than you Find someone else to take my place While I get a chance to breathe You need to go to another place I hate when you say you don’t think I can I want to be with some decency Not your hypocrisy You wish I was dead Maybe one day I’ll be just like you Stab people just like you and Hurt all the people I thought I knew I remember back then when I thought You used to be decent, used to be respectable But I was so wrong You should’ve known I’d See right through you Now you see how horrible I am When I know I’m so sick of the hatred Sick of the filth Sick of you acting like I’m less than you Find someone else to take my place While I get a chance to breathe You need to go to another place I hate when you say you don’t think I can I want to be with some decency Not your hypocrisy You wish I was dead You try to feed these lies to me Go away You try to feed these lies to me GO AWAY I’m so sick of the hatred Sick of the filth Sick of you acting like I’m less than you Find someone else to take my place While I get a chance to breathe - This is about a certain guy that I shouldn't be wasting my time writing about. He's not worth it. He's not worth even my thoughts. Bel |
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| © Copyright 2001 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
tru tru to the last writers comment there, and dont worry bout him, i dont. nicly writen *still has the song in his head* maybe i should read it again with the song playing in the background... i love you baby  "as below so above and beyond i imagine |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Bel, I really enjoyed this. My favorite were the repeated lines throught the poem. (or Song?) Anyway- I thought you re-wrote the song well. It was very powerful. Filled with emotion. Nice job.  [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-19-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
powerful writing here...and i agree with you on your last comment...sometimes you just gotta move on...i enjoyed the read, Bel  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
The repetition in this piece gave a great affect, this piece was very strong. I agree with your comment, moving on is definitely the best way to go. Thought it is not always the easiest way to go. Great write. - Cody - |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the poem. Thought you did fine...might as well be called a song since it's in the style of one, right?  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Wow, you can really sing those lyrics instead and it sounds the awesome. Nice job on this idea...Bravo! -JR |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
"Find someone to replace me" that carries so much than i first thought i love lp and this nice work |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I like this one alot! I think it turned out very good. I could totally hear Linkin Park in my mind while I read it. This part kicked ass! "I’m sick of the hatred Sick of the filth Sick of you acting like I’m less than you Find someone else to take my place While I get a chance to breathe " Great job. I think this one turned out excellent. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I adore linkin park.....They rock. The song was awesome. very good work. The power was good. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I LOVE THAT SONG! this is awesome work, Bel! I LOVED it! This is a library piece definitely.. very very nicely done. loved the song. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
WOO!! Isabel, you rock! Like the guy up there said (sorry I forgot your name..), you can actually sing it to the music, and it fits perfectly. As a fellow LP fanatic, I must say, you definitely do them justice! -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
Linkin Park rules and did an excellent job of working off the lines. Nicely done. /Nick/ |
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angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
THIS TOTALLY ROCKS! *has song stuck in her head* I like the way you used the lyrics to inspire you. That song rocks. Keep Writing! I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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