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Neveah
New Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 5


0 posted 2001-07-18 02:50 PM


Sorry if this isnt a good poem, I have had a terrible block, and I cant seem to think of anything good. Tell me what you think and I will keep trying.

Its not the things to come that hurts
but whats in the past that hurts hurts the most
the stuff you wish you'd never done
because those are things which you cannot boast
the stuff you thought
would never come back
but it does so very fast
the stuff you prayed would go away
but only comes back
and wants to stay
The stuff that you regret
the stuff that makes you cry
the stuff that makes you cant sleep at night
thousands and thousands of times.
its not the stuff to come that hurts
but its whats in your past
even though its put away
it always seems to come back

© Copyright 2001 Neveah - All Rights Reserved
Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
1 posted 2001-07-18 04:59 PM


First of all I would just like to welcome you to Passions.  Its a great place to be and I hope you enjoy your stay. WELCOME!!!

I thought this was a good poem and I could feel the hurt in it.  You expressed it very well though.  Good luck in future writings and I look forward to reading more from you!
Always,
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

2 posted 2001-07-18 05:10 PM


Welcome to Passions Neveah!  I hope that you enjoy it here.  This was a wonderful and emotional first post.  I look forward to more!  

PS Check your email for something special!!

Heavens Tears ~ Moderator/Passions in Poetry

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-07-18 06:52 PM


   WELCOME TO PIP!  

I liked this alot- I totally understand what you are saying. My only peeve with it- I think you should change "stuff" to "things" and the line "the stuff that makes you cant sleep at night" I think it owuld sound better if you changed can't to "unable."
Just a thought though. (Ya, I know- You said no critiques- but I couldn't help myself...haha) anyway, like I said- I could totally see what you were saying here...I enjoyed this bunches. I hope to see you posting more in the near future.  

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-18-2001).]

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
4 posted 2001-07-18 07:23 PM


Welcome!!!!

I thought this was good.  ESPECIALLY good concidering you have a block.  I know that when I have writers block (as I do now) my writing is horrible.  Everything I've written lately hasn't been too good.  

Great Job!  Hope to see more from you in the future.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
5 posted 2001-07-18 09:08 PM


welcome to passions.

ordinarily I would give an upbeat energetic response, sorta like I did the last poem, but I'm feeling really tired now...so, I'll save that for later   when I read your next poem maybe...

anyway, this is a wonderful first post, and I hope to see more of you around here. and have fun here too...visit Teen Chat in the discussion forums and get to know all of us crazy ppl here.

loved the poem...I give it two  

I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden.
*HUGS ZU*

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-07-19 01:40 AM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!...

much truthn in this poem..something is truggle with daily...i did relate...great job as i hope to see you read, share, reply more

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-07-19 04:29 AM


I really liked this poem! Welcome to Passions! I think you've done a great job! I think it's fine the way it is, actually.
VERY VERY strong poem to come out with, I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-07-19 09:16 PM


I like this, Neveah!!  Welcome to Passions in Poetry!  This was an excellent first post.  These are powerful words...
"Its not the things to come that hurts
but whats in the past that hurts hurts the most"
Those were my fave lines... that's so true.
Nicely done!  I enjoyed this.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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