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Teen Poetry #5
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MoeRocko
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166
West Virginia

0 posted 2001-07-17 04:12 PM



It was the fear of you that lead me to you
And it's the fear of you that takes getting used to
I've never been one to hang my heart on a thread
But you spun me around and loved me instead

I know I could turn to something other than you
Cause I don't understand you and why you're after me
I've never been the saint you wanted me to turn to
And I can't see the view
from your eyes you look at me through

So cut below the surface and try hard not to notice
That I could be so foolish thinking I'm alright
I've got no one to hold me, I've got no one to carry
Everything inside of me that I won't let you see

But I'm Alright

If there's a such thing as a Genius, then I'm one. If there's no such thing then I don't care...  ~John Lennon
  

© Copyright 2001 Ewok Enterprise - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-17 07:53 PM


Moe- I dunno...There is SOMETHING about this that I'm REALLY liking. It's one of my all time favs of yours. Great Write!
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-07-17 08:14 PM


This is VERY well weritten, Ewok.  You're writing some pretty awesome stuff lately... very impressive!  Nice work.  I really enjoyed this, and hope to see more SOON!  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
3 posted 2001-07-18 12:21 PM


*takes sumthing from her box and gives it to u* love you ewoksters.
*hugs* loved this alot. uve been writing more emotionally lately it seems. hope all is well. i miss u.
tiff

I am Gaudior
the shadow cast of valour
to cloak our vision
the remants of days long past
lay waking in the twilight

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-07-18 01:34 AM


I thought this was fine. I felt that it lacked a bit of the punches and power that your other 2 poems I recently read had. I found the ending to this one to fit greatly though. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
5 posted 2001-07-18 04:36 AM


Very good.
flows nicely,
and on a good subject.

allie

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
6 posted 2001-07-18 07:50 PM


Thought this one was pretty good.  However, not my favorite of yours.  The flow was good and the poem was overall really good.  But I don't know, not my favorite of yours.  Good job, still.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

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