navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » hold me
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic hold me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180


0 posted 2001-07-17 04:39 AM


When I'm crying
When I feel like I'm dying
When I'm tired of life
When my words' as sharp as a knife
When I seem small
When I think I'm nothing at all
..I need your love.
Won't you lift me up
Won't you take my hand
Won't you kiss my shivering lips
Won't you touch me..reach me..
Help me
Save me
Take my arms
Hold me
Oh My Love
Please
Hold me

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

© Copyright 2001 zarina - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-07-17 08:54 AM


This is a really nice one! I liked it. It had alot of emotion. Very good poem.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-07-17 01:12 PM


Zarina I really liked this. Yet again- I relate. Sometimes thats just all someone would need- a soft hug from their loved one and everything is perfect again. Nice job on this one Zarina.  
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-07-17 01:15 PM


Wow.. the desperation in this poem is portrayed so well.  I enjoyed this, Carina.  I think that the power of your words are very evident, and the way you expressed yourself was well done.  Nice work.  I enjoyed the read, and look forward to seeing more soon!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-07-18 01:17 AM


Sometimes all I need is a hug, even a cyber hug. It hurts when the person you asks rejects you flat out....*sigh*....anyhow well done on this one. I loved the part of the shivering lips. Nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
5 posted 2001-07-18 03:04 AM


I thought this one was really good.  It was very well written and had good emotions portayed through it.  Thanks for sharing
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
6 posted 2001-07-18 04:32 AM


great post,
yet sad.
you're so talented to give off such emotion through words,
congratulations.

ALLIE

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
7 posted 2001-07-18 07:52 PM


Great poem.  I could feel the emotion in this piece.  Very nice.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-07-19 01:38 AM


your emotions strongly put..i relate...i liked the poem, Carina

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
9 posted 2001-07-20 10:05 PM


*hugs Dopey*  

The title reminded me of a line in a Savage Garden song...or was it the title? Uh, I don't know but the piece had some great thoughts in there.
Thanks for the read.  

~AF~

Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me...

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
10 posted 2001-07-23 05:50 AM


hey this is kool.  i can really relate to the poem.  i think we've all been there.  god it sucks when you have nobody to hold you though.  such emptiness and lonliness.  hopefully you always have someone to hold ya :-) and great work on this, i really enjoyed it.bye bye
-fear-

i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song

zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180

11 posted 2001-07-23 07:57 AM


thanks alot.. you guys rocks! hehe  

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

DarkenedShadow
Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114
Kansas
12 posted 2001-07-23 02:55 PM


Its excellent on how much you use your words to explain all the pain you must feel. /Nick/
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » hold me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary