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Teen Poetry #5
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xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

0 posted 2001-07-16 11:40 AM



What dirty lips you have,
So full of passion and lust of anothers.
You've sent me to a far worse place then hell,
Where i doubt i shall ever recover.

What deceiving eyes you have,
Full of trust, warmth and deceit.
I looked in them and believed them at one time,
Now look what they've done to me.

What fake hands you have,
So strong, secure, and two-faced.
They held on to me making me feel protected,
Staying in them is what made me meet my horrible fate.

What a devilish smile you have,
So caring, understanding and cruel.
I think its the smile that did me in the most,
It made me look like a complete fool.

What a selfish personality you have,
So confused, twisted and needing to be nurtured.
You had to go and kiss another girl,
And im the one who has to be tortured.

What a stupid heart you have,
So foolish, sneaky and devious.
You lost the one good thing u'll ever have,
All because of a kiss you couldnt dismiss.

[This message has been edited by xShUgArHiGhx (edited 07-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved
Hill's_Chatabox
Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46
USA
1 posted 2001-07-16 01:37 PM


Girl, I feel for you here, I competely understand where you are coming from. It's a great poem I really like it, a-lot.

Shoot for the moon cause if you miss you'll still end up in the *stars*!!!

Don't tell me that you love me unless you mean it, Beacuse I might do so

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-07-16 07:22 PM


Michele! I'm loving this! Into the library it goes. *Click*
I thought it was awesome...The beginning line in each stanza reminded me of the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood..heheheh... I liked it. I can totally feel what you are saying.

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-18-2001).]

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-07-16 08:36 PM


wow...Michele ...very deep emotions in this one...such a tough situation...this was SO well expressed...i liked it lots.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-07-16 09:43 PM


The format of this poem ROCKS!  The way you began each stanza and then described why the remainder of the stanzas was AWESOME.  I am loving this.  Nicely done!  I relaly enjoyed this read... I'm looking forward to seeing more.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-07-16 11:32 PM


Thanks everyone for your replies!! I really appreciate them  
LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
6 posted 2001-07-16 11:51 PM


WOW1 this was great, so powerful! i totally loved it, great job

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-07-17 02:56 AM


i haev to agree with spice here...it reminded me of the little red riding hood..i love that touch to it its awesome!!...very powerful and well written michelle well done!!
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-07-18 02:11 AM


I really liked the format of this. It sounded like "Little Red Riding Hood". I thought you were quite creative on this. Nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
9 posted 2001-07-18 04:01 AM


Fabulous poem.
i understand where you're coming from totally,
Wonderful to read!

ALLIE

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
10 posted 2001-07-18 12:35 PM


I loved this one!. It was awesome. Very emotional and powerful. Guys can be such _____ sometimes(You can fill in the blanks). I don't get it when they do that crap, they'd be much happier if they didn't. Great job on the poem and I say blow off that bum!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

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