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Teen Poetry #5
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Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-07-16 10:51 AM


I'm tied up,
Wrapped up,
In my own confusions,

I'm caught up,
Held up,
By my own delusions,

I'm torn up,
Ripped up,
With my own illusions,

I'm bruised up,
Hurt up,
Covered in contusions,

I stand up,
Rise up,
Against emotional transfusions.



"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." - Shakespeare

[This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 07-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
1 posted 2001-07-16 12:17 PM


Damn, this is a great poem wow i really like it. Your not a bad poet.

All you other poets beware my true feelings and poetry are about to flare!
~*~Branden~*~

Hill's_Chatabox
Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46
USA
2 posted 2001-07-16 01:35 PM


Was a good poem!! hope to read more from you.
   ~Hillary~

Shoot for the moon cause if you miss you'll still end up in the *stars*!!!

Don't tell me that you love me unless you mean it, Beacuse I might do so

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-07-16 07:18 PM


Wow Adam- I really liked this! The format rocked, the rhyming was awesome- Great read!
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-16 08:38 PM


simple yet well written...throughout format...i enjoyed it!...great poem, Adam

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-07-16 09:47 PM


Honestly, I didn't really like this as much I have some of your other work.  There were phrases throughout the whole poem where the word "up" didn't make sense with the previous word.  The format was pretty cool, and I liked the way you used "-sions" words at the end of each stanza... but I didnt like the "... up" lines.
Thanks for sharing.  I hope to see more soon, so keep posting all your work.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-07-17 07:15 PM


I liked this format and style. I've written like this a few times and it always gives off a very powerful and nicely said message, but I always found my poems and poems written in this style to be a bit too easy. Know what I mean? If not haha ignore me, i suck.
Anyhow I really liked this one. well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
7 posted 2001-07-19 03:27 AM


I really liked this one.  Locked up in a world you created yourself, in a situation made by yourself.  I liked how you expressed that, good job.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
8 posted 2001-07-19 04:28 AM


Amazing work~!~!~!~

Really great

ALLIE

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