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Teen Poetry #5
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The Perfect Plan
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Perfect Plan |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
Who's that girl they say? when spotted around town, No one knows who she is But everyone thinks she's a clown. I'll show them who I am I'll show them that I'm smart, I will show them all that I can do it And I'll do it with lots of heart. She must be a blonde Look at how she walks, And have you heard her lately And the weird way she talks? They all don't think I can make it I know if I work hard I can, I'll make it so big their jaws will drop Yes, that's a perfect plan. "...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva |
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| © Copyright 2001 Valerie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
i wrote this after i heard Eve's song "who's that girl" it's not about her song but it sparked something in my mind so... "...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
heheh...i thought this was very creative...the way you wrote it...i enjoyed this one alot, Val  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
original idea, Creative poem ALLIE |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I like the way you wrote this. Thanks for the read, Valerie.  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is very well written! I really liked the stanza that read: "I'll show them who I am I'll show them that I'm smart, I will show them all that I can do it And I'll do it with lots of heart. " The rhyme scheme you have going throughout the piece is excellent. The way you kept it consistent isn't something I see very often. I really liked the way you had the outsiders view of the girl, and the girl's view. Wonderful work! I really enjoyed this! Nicely done, and I hope to see more soon  --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Creative idea...I liked this one. Good job |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey this is so cool!!..i loved the two voices in this...a real creative piece of poetry val....keep it up!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I loved how you wrote this one. Sounds like a great plan! Go for it!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I REALLY liked this one! I can relate to it. Great write. Sounds like a great plan - Cody - |
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